Paul David Tripp makes the point emphatically in his important book, Dangerous Calling. In this mandatory read for church planters and anyone in ministry,Tripp explains that pastors are just like everyone else in the church, with the same temptations and sin issues that we all have. Pastors are in the process of sanctification just like you, and they need the body of Christ, just like all members. But the reality is that the pastor and his wife usually receive none of the benefits of the church that the members do.
I coach many pastors and I think that very few realize what they are missing in the church. They are always giving, preaching, counseling, visiting the sick, exhorting their flock to be more like Christ. This is just what they are supposed to do, what they are paid to do. When I share with a pastor the statement "no one gets less of the ministry of the body of Christ than the pastor", there is that pause as they process the statement, then a slow awareness of this fact and almost always an acknowledgment that this is true.
The problem starts when the members of the church put the pastor on a pedestal and think of him and his wife as some kind of super Christians. After all, he is "called" into the pastorate, probably been to seminary and been trained to be a pastor. He has to be a mature believer and above any of the hurts or hangups that we common believers have.
The pastor often begins to believe in the idea that they have arrived. After all, God has anointed me and with my education, training and experience, I deserve to be up on this pedestal. This becomes a problem because the heart of a pastor who believes he has arrived begins to harden and this can easily give way to sin in his life. He can become impatient, angry, self-righteous, judgmental and controlling. And when you believe you have already arrived, you are very resistant to change.
There are many more pastors who really know they haven't arrived and they still feel the pressure to maintain the image of super-spiritual pastor. They live with the guilt of being a poser, living a lie. I can't afford to let anyone see the real me or I might be thought less of or even fired. Therefore many pastors isolate themselves from the flock and live without the interconnectivity and necessary ministry of the body of Christ. No one is safe living separated and unknown. Each of us, whether a pastor or lay person, needs the eyes of others in order to see ourselves with clarity and accuracy. We need the accountability and encouragement to press on and the love and grace when we have blown it.
Ask these questions to see if you as a pastor or your pastor and family may be missing out on the ministry of the church. And if you haven't read Dangerous Calling, order it today!
- What is your initial reaction to the statement that the pastor and wife receive none of the benefits of the church that members do? Do you agree? Disagree? Why?
- Can your pastor be real and share his own hurts, hangups and habits to the members?
- How free do you feel to be transparent in your small group or Bible study?
- Does your pastor attend a small group that he doesn't lead?
- Does he have a spiritual mentor that he meets with consistently?
- Does the pastor's wife have a group of ladies that she can be open and honest with and trust?
- How often is your pastor invited to your home or any members home just to hang out?
- Do you give your pastor and his wife significant away time?
- Is there counseling available to the pastor, his wife and family?