In Rare Leadership, the authors Dr. Marcus Warner, a pastor, and Dr. Jim Wilder, a Neurotheologian who has studied and taught on brain science, share through stories, examples and looking at brain science, how to lead well. What I liked about it was that I received from both scripture and science not only important information but also very practical ideas on how to lead effectively.
The authors describe four uncommon habits that define a rare leader as they lead their team, company, church or family: 1) To remain relational, 2) to act like your best self, 3) to return to joy, 4) and to endure hardship.
The book explains that through the study of Scripture and brain science, that joy, that feeling of well-being in the deepest part of our soul is what we most desire. Wilder explains that the brain is a joy-seeking machine, seeking joy above every other human experience. And joy is experienced primarily through relationships.
Leaders with emotional intelligence and relational skills always create joy around them. And the leadership that neglects joy rapidly becomes management instead of leadership. When we lead from joy, our relationships are bigger than the problems we face. Employees and team members work better when there is an atmosphere of joy in the workplace. You'll create a joyful workplace when there is a clear group identity, an awareness, and understanding of the purpose of the group, and a caring for each individual. This applies not only to businesses and churches but families as well. When a family lives in joy and the parents lead with joy, children grow up healthier, knowing their purpose in life, understanding who they are (identity), and that they are loved and appreciated for who they are.
The book makes note that we will never be able to avoid difficulties and pain. Leading requires us to work through trials, but in those times of trouble, stress, and conflict, rare leaders will always give the relationship priority over the problem. They will act like their best self in the middle of the problem (not blowing up with anger or melting down emotionally), and return to joy in spite of the pain and suffering. Rare leaders operate with greater love, peace, patience, and self-control and those under their leadership appreciate them more and respond better to their leadership.
I can look back over my 40 years of ministry experience in two churches and clearly see the times when pastors and administrators led from a left-brain management style and the times when we were led from a right-brain relational style. The years where I really enjoyed my work, and there was a great sense of joy in the ministry team, and the church, in general, were times when I had relational leaders. The difference in the amount of joy was remarkable.
In the middle of reading this book, a college student called to ask my advice. This young man is an incredibly talented and dedicated Christian who is on his church's college leadership team. He explained to me that he was having difficulty with the person who is in charge of leading their college ministry. He went on to say that the college minister was greatly admired for his great preaching but his leadership of the students was severely lacking. He said that in the two years under the ministry of the college minister, he had never met with him one on one. In fact, few of the men or women on their leadership team had ever met with this minister. They had leadership meetings once a week, but the college minister never attended, only the interns. No one knew him at all. My friend wanted to meet with and address this with the college minister and asked my advice on how to broach the subject with his leader. He said that it was his desire not to admonish him but to learn as much as he could from the college minister and he couldn't without getting to know him.
My mind went to the book and I recall thinking, my this could have been an illustration right out of the book. My friend really gets it and the college minister seems to need some encouragement to lead better through relationships. I shared some of the points in the book with my college friend and suggested that he read the book before they met and perhaps refer it to his college minister also.
When I saw him recently I asked how his meeting went with his college minister. He said it actually went well and the college minister seemed to take his concerns seriously. He said a few days after the meeting the college minister emailed all of the leaders and invited them all to his house for a fellowship. I gave my friend a high five. The conversation that my friend had with his college minister just may have changed the whole course of this man's ministry.
Perhaps this book will change the way you lead also. Check it out. Rare Leadership
