Surviving Your First Mutiny

Most every church planter goes through difficult periods, times when the planter is tested to their limits.  One of those times in the first year or two of a church plant is when the planter loses some of his key leaders or core team members. During one of our Missional Association gathering of church planters, one thing on which they all agreed was that most of the initial core team would not be around to see the church they helped start, flourish. Yet, knowing this and being forewarned does not lessen the hurt and disappointment when a key person leaves your church.

   

One of our church planters shared how his best friend who had been working with him for over a year to get their church off the ground decided to leave to go to another church. This pastor was thinking if I can't even keep my best friend from abandoning me, how am I going to grow a church?  Yet, the next Sunday people were saved and life and the church went on without him.

Another pastor told how most of his entire leadership team including band members and their financial person decided to leave en masse. He found out that one disgruntled leader had influenced the team to mutiny.  One month later the team had been replaced and the church was growing faster than it had ever grown. This church planter remarked that the mutiny was actually a blessing for the church and that a couple of the leaders who left may have been an obstruction to growth.

So don't be surprised when a key leader or leaders whom you have recruited to help you start the church decide to move on. There could be any number of reasons and most have nothing to do with the church planter/pastor or their leadership.  Many people who have that apostolic gifting love starting things and once they get the church going, they feel their job is accomplished. For many others, their expectations of what the church will be are never realized. And when that hits them, they decide to search elsewhere. But whatever the reason, don't be surprised when it happens. How you handle that first mutiny will often determine whether your church makes it. Pastors can become so discouraged that they lose their passion and will to continue. But if you can hang in there, learn from the experience and continue to reach people, you and the church will be better off after the mutiny.  

Three things to consider about your initial leadership team. 

1) Think of your initial core team as the scaffolding for the church. They help build the foundation but they are usually not part of that foundation, the long-term pillars that your church builds upon. They are there for a season and you should appreciate them for their role in starting the church. Anyone who continues past the first couple of years is icing on the cake. 

2) The Second generation of leaders are usually much more consistent than the first. They are usually recruited from within the new church body instead of from outside of your church. These may be new believers or seekers so they have fewer expectations of what church should be and are usually more loyal to the mission of the church and the pastor's vision. 

3)  All growing things need pruning. You will need to prune away people who could actually be holding the growth or hindering the development of others in your church. When we hold onto everyone, we can stifle the growth of the church.

Your vision for the church and your expectations for the church members go a long way in how you personally react to people who leave your church. If you are concerned with your seating capacity instead of your sending capacity in the church you are pastoring, you will probably be distraught over any leader or influential family that says goodbye. But if your mindset is to disciple and send, then you as a pastor can actually celebrate the family that leaves as your missionaries to another location. These people are as much a part of your legacy as those who remain in your church! If your church has done a good job in discipling the family, you can be confident that their ministry and the things they learned will be passed on to their next church and circle of influence. 

One Great Hindrance To Spiritual And Emotional Health

At our recent Missional Association lunch our church planters were discussing the critical need for pastors to have friends who will hold them accountable.  A fellow pastor shared how he was meeting regularly with a small group of fellow pastors they called "holy friends". This group's definition of a holy friend was really poignant. 

"A Holy friend is someone who challenges the sins we've grown to love, affirms the gifts we're afraid to claim and helps us dream the dreams we could not otherwise dream."

Wouldn't it be great if we all had a friend or group of friends that would do this!  How much healthier would we all be?

I believe the lack of "holy friends" in a Christian's life is one of the greatest hindrances to a spiritually and emotionally vibrant life. Men tend to have this void more than women. Men usually form friendships based on activities. Our conversations usually consist of sports, politics, family and sometimes religion. But seldom do men get to a level below the surface conversations. I admit it is very difficult to share your weaknesses and failures to another. And yet we all need a friend or friends with whom we can declare our aspirations, disclose where we struggle and divulge our fears. We all need "holy friends". "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another" Prov. 27:17. To be spiritually mature we need comrades with whom we can be real and honest, guys we can trust, who will pray for us, who won't condemn or gossip but lift us up and encourage us to be more like Christ. 

The Bible emphasizes how critical relationships are to each member of the body of Christ. The term "one another" is only one word in Greek and is used 100 times in 94 New Testament verses. Galatians 6:2 counsels us to bear one another's burdens. Ephesians 4:25 admonishes us to speak truth to one another.  Colossians 3:9 instructs not to lie to one another and 1 Thessalonians 5:11 exhorts us to encourage and build up one another.  James 5:16 exhorts us to pray for one another.  Spiritual maturity is best achieved through relationships.

Pastors have a unique dilemma in this regard because they find opening their life up to church members a dangerous proposition. Unless a pastor has close friends outside of his church or a group of fellow pastors he meets with, he can find himself all alone and susceptible to using unhealthy escape mechanisms like drugs, pornograpy or affairs to deal with the pressure of the ministry.  Let's face it, pastors and all Christian men and women need holy friends.

Some churches try to organize men's and women's small groups to facilitate these kinds of relationships.  But it's very difficult to program this level of openness and commitment. It almost always happens organically. But you can be intentional about finding and developing this level of relationship.  Here are some suggestions and I'd love for you to share any other ideas. 

1. Take it slow.  Look for friends that you already have and be their "holy friend". Discuss the possibility of a "holy friendship".  Set aside a regular meeting to discuss personal issues. 
2. Keep your discussions confidential. Agree to tell no one, not even your wife, what you disclose in your meetings and honor that covenant. 
3. You be a holy friend and open up first. As you share deeper, this should encourage your friend to open up.  If it is always a one sided discussion, then you probably need to look for another "holy friend". 
4. Focus not on the sin, but on the reason for the sin. Talk about why you feel the need to do what you do.  
5. Set goals and guidelines and ask about them each time you meet.  Be honest and transparent. You can only be held accountable to that which you reveal. 
6. Give permission for your accountability partner to kick your butt when you need a butt-kicking. 
7. Seek progress not perfection.
8. Don't focus totally on the negative. Discuss dreams and aspirations. Affirm and encourage each other. 
9. Keep the circle small. Many find it more beneficial to have three persons meeting for accountability. But the more you add beyond three the more difficult it becomes to have everyone at the meetings consistently. Consistency is critical to success. 

Reaching The Millennial And Why This Millennial Stayed In The Church

Millenials gather for a game at Topgolf 

I had a great conversation recently with several young pastors who have started churches that are reaching Millenials. These church planters were either of the Millenial generation or just a bit older. I wanted to hear how they were reaching the Millenials today and what it is that motivates the Millennial to seek after God.

The pastors all agreed that the Millennial craves community. A large portion of twenty-something adults have not had great, authentic family experiences so they want to experience family and community. These pastors agreed that for the church to reach Millennials, it must provide community for them or they will not stick. The problem voiced by one pastor is that often when the church tries to create community it comes across as fake or inauthentic. For Millenials, community happens naturally.

A good example of a business that is thriving because it is reaching Millenials is Top Golf. They have taken the traditional game of golf and put it into a structure that is more conducive to groups that create community much like bowling. Where golf has been more of an individual sport, now through Top Golf it becomes a group experience which appeals to the Millennial.

The young church planters went on to say that churches must also allow Millennials to question why we believe and why we act the way we do. Millennials need to be able to ask questions without fear or rejections. Their world view is not a biblical world view like ours. They have been taught a secular world view so we must be patient and listen to them and understand their perspective. They tend to be more liberal so if the church focuses a lot on politics and trying to persuade members to be more conservative, instead of focusing on the Gospel, the Millennials will drift away.

They can be biblically illiterate also. We can't assume they even know the basics of Christianity. One pastor commented about how he had to explain where Christmas originated to a young girl. She did not even know that it was a holiday celebrating Jesus' birth.

Millennials also want their faith to be practical and integrated into their everyday life.  That is why the Missional model appeals to them. They will accept a challenge and respond well to activism. They won't stay long at your church unless they are challenged to put their faith into action. Coming to worship to be entertained will not sustain them. 

This is a quote from an excellent blog post by Ryan Cole on why he stayed in the church,  Statistics show that Millennials are are not interested in work and life balance; they are interested in work and life INTEGRATION. The same is true about their faith. They don’t just wanna show up on Sunday if they have not integrated their LIFE >> WORK >> and FAITH together as one!

So a church must do these three things to reach the Millennial, 

• Provide authentic community
• Give a solid explanation of the Good News and how and why it changes the way we live our lives 
• Focus on and involve them in the mission of God

I suggest this should be the goal for every person attending your church, not just Millenials. But it is especially essential to reach the twenty-something's. 

Read Why This Millennial stayed in the church.

The Foundation of All Discipleship

I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.  John 15:5

Yesterday during our Missional Association church planters luncheon I was reminded in a very strong way that the essence of all we do as pastors and Christ followers is rooted in this verse.  If all we do and who we are, is not abiding in Christ, our works, our ministry, our life is nothing.  Our day, our Christian walk must start out with this basic principle, abide in Christ.  

When we reproduce disciples, do we reproduce ourselves?  Or do we reproduce Christ?  Do we reproduce workers?  Or do we reproduce others who also abide in Christ?

When making disciples we must live and lay down this foundational truth found in Jesus' words of John 15. It is such a simple truth that we often overlook the significance of it in our lives.  In our busy days with so much to do and so much to teach, we breeze past it.  Yet everything rests on this principle of abiding in Him, all doctrine, every aspect of the Christian life. We cannot undervalue this aspect of the Christian life and cannot focus on it too much.  

What does abiding in Christ look like in your life?  

I've posted two other blog posts about discipleship and bearing fruit that speak to this.

The Art of Discipleship  

True Fruit