Big Kingdom vs little kingdom vision

Joe is a young adult pastor of a large church overseeing small groups and discipleship of adults. He has been on staff for five years and seen steady growth in his ministry in numbers of new members and numbers of small groups. He has felt God's calling to pastor a church since he gave his life to Christ and the desire to plant has been percolating for a couple of years. 

He decides he needs to share his feelings about planting with his senior pastor. Joe is exited and nervous about the meeting. He believes the pastor will be glad to hear that he will be starting a new congregation and believes the pastor will support his decision because he has often preached on the great commission.

 

However, when told, the pastor is very disappointed that Joe is considering leaving the church to plant another church. The pastor begins to distance himself from Joe and then tells Joe he must be gone by the end of the week saying the elders had come to this decision. He gives Joe no support to start another church, either money or emotional.  Joe now is heartbroken, angry and feels guilty about leaving and taking any close ministry friends with him.  So he starts one of the most difficult tasks there is, planting a church, somewhat disillusioned with the church and having little to no support.  

As a coach for church planters I have had numerous pastors share experiences much like this.  What is behind this attitude of pastors?  Why would a pastor or elder board not support someone on their staff that feels God calling them to grow the kingdom outside their own church?  It boils down to a little kingdom vision instead of having a vision to grow God's Kingdom.  When a pastor has a limited vision it leads to several negative traits.

• Possessiveness  (My church is all that matters, so we must not let anything distract us from growing our church)
• Control (We don't want our members going outside of our church for information or inspiration because we have all the answers)
• Limits spiritual growth of the pastor, staff, leadership and members of the church.  
• Limits numeric growth of the church (It's God's economy, the more you give the greater you will grow)
• Limits mission involvement outside of the mother church (The cost is too great to send people and do missions overseas)
• Limits opportunity to multiply 

When everything in your world is only about your church, losing a staff member hurts, especially one that is popular and does a good job. It is natural to want to keep good talent, just like any business would hate to lose a good employee. But if we have an interest in the individual and a big kingdom mindset, we will encourage our staff to grow and expand wherever they feel God calling them to serve.  

Even some businesses have a less possessive attitude about their employees than many churches. The San Antonio Spurs are a great example of an organization that is not possessive and only concerned about their team. They consistently encourage their best and most talented coaches to step up to better coaching positions on other teams. I blogged about the Spurs management style here. It should not be all about my church. It's about God's Kingdom and helping people become all they can be in Christ. If that means you have to search for a new staff member, so be it. Our purpose is to grow people and thus grow God's Kingdom to glorify Him.  

All it takes is a change in one's perspective from small kingdom to large Kingdom. When your purpose is enlarged, you can start to intentionally train church planters and start churches. You can train missionaries and celebrate when church members move away to serve on the mission field, start a new church or serve another church.  You'll be able to unburden yourself with "closing the back door", and not be so disappointed and hurt over families that leave your church.  Yes, when you start giving your members away instead of controlling and holding on to them, you will be surprised at how your church will grow people, your church and the Kingdom of God.

The "Out Of This World" Spurs Way

There is a lot of buzz about how the San Antonio Spurs can get their players to sign contracts that are well below market value.  Danny Green, the Spurs sharp shooting 3 point and defensive specialist, was asked why he made the decision to sign such a reduced contract with the Spurs. He replied calmly that he didn't think he took less, that he believed he signed for what he was worth. One analyst commented that he thought the Spurs brainwashed their players. 

Although he said it tongue in cheek, the commentator is right that the Spurs' way is totally contrary to most NBA teams. Obviously the Spurs are a first class organization and many players relish the opportunity to play for coach Pop. And having the opportunity to get a championship ring is also a real sugar stick. But I think the Spurs culture is the real driving force for those who have chosen to play for the Spurs at a reduced salary. It takes an athlete with certain principles and values to sacrifice millions of dollars. And the Spurs don't have to brainwash players because they find players who have the character and values that are compatible with the Spurs ways. So you won't find prima donnas and chest-thumping, trash-talking Spurs. And yet maybe the best test of whether a player would fit the Spurs is if they are willing to sacrifice millions to play for them.  

Walking away from millions of dollars like Tim Duncan, Danny Green and David West is almost unheard of in most any profession today. Granted, these guys have still made their millions but it takes a very special person to basically say that making millions more is not the driving force in their lives, that there is something greater and more valuable than money.  That's difficult for most athletes because the media, fans and peers measure them by the amount of money they make. Most get their significance by comparing their salaries with other players, and demanding compensatory salary. 

I'm reminded of someone in the Bible who sacrificed untold riches also.  Hebrews 11:24-26 describes how Moses refused the world's riches and chose to be a Jewish slave instead of Egyptian royalty. Moses refused the world's value system, the same value system that we now have.

1.Power and prestige
2.Pleasure
3.Possessions

Instead of all of these, Moses chose his Hebrew heritage and slavery.

Now I'm not comparing any of the Spurs players to Moses. But it is refreshing to hear anyone putting the team, others, or family ahead of the almighty dollar. It seldom happens but when it does, you know that the player has a very different set of values. Moses was able to say no to royalty because as verse 26 says, he was looking ahead to his reward. Moses' goal, purpose, and vision were "counter to this world". David Robinson and Avery Johnson set the "out of this world" Spurs culture.  Then Duncan and Popovich cultivated and refined that culture to what now is the Spurs way.  It is different and so refreshing. I'm proud to be a Spurs fan!

Greg Popovich talks about the Spurs culture in this recent interview with Tom Tolbert.

Go here for more about coach Pop's influence all over the NBA. 

Doing it Jesus' way the counterculture path

I always find it interesting to hear celebrities speak out in public about their faith in Jesus Christ. Many avoid getting too deep into their lifestyle. Russell Wilson is one athlete who does not shy away from his personal life and how he puts his faith into practice. The Seattle Seahawks quarterback shares a lot about his faith in this interview at a church in San Diego and how he lives it out, including his his relationship with his girlfriend.  
Wilson declares that he is taking the lead in their relationship and doing it "Jesus' way." I find it ironic how counterculture his stand is today when just a few years ago we were promoting the "just say no" campaign.  Go here to watch the whole interview. His discussion about his relationship with his girlfriend is about the 25 minute mark in the interview. 

Christians need to get used to the idea that our lifestyle as followers of Christ will not be the popular way.  We will have many decisions to make along the way, choosing between the righteous way or the popular choice. When we make the choice to live the "Jesus way", the Bible says we are living by faith, exercising our faith and trust in that way.  Hebrews gives us the examples of those who lived by faith, making the decisions to follow God and not the world.  

Church We Have A Problem According To Pew Study

The latest Pew Research Survey on religion in America does not paint a rosy picture for the Christian church, reporting a decline of "Christians" of almost 8% from 2007.  The percentage of adults (ages 18 and older) who describe themselves as Christians has dropped by nearly eight percentage points in just seven years, from 78.4% in an equally massive Pew Research survey in 2007 to 70.6% in 2014. Over the same period, the percentage of Americans who are religiously unaffiliated – describing themselves as atheist, agnostic or “nothing in particular” – has jumped more than six points, from 16.1% to 22.8%. And the share of Americans who identify with non-Christian faiths also has inched up, rising 1.2 percentage points, from 4.7% in 2007 to 5.9% in 2014. 

Mainline protestant denominations took the brunt of the decline while evangelical churches actually increased in number, as much a 5 million.  Yet the future does not look promising for either because there is a failure to reproduce generationally both in mainline and evangelical churches. The millennial generation, especially many of the young millennials, are not continuing the faith of their parents. More than 85% of American adults were raised Christian, but nearly a quarter of those who were raised Christian no longer identify with Christianity. 

In the evangelical church, there has always been a high value of making new disciples, to evangelize the lost, hence the term evangelical church.  In my coaching of pastors, much of our energy is spent on developing strategies to reach those who do not believe. Perhaps we should also examine how we are raising up our children to love God and pursue truth.  Somewhere along the line we are losing that battle and if those closest to us fail to carry on with our faith, then how can we expect to convince those outside our family to believe in Christ? How do we leave a legacy of faith without pushing it upon our children or turning them away from the church? How do we best disciple them? They are after all, the future of the church.

I've written about the issue in a recent blog; The Greatest Gift You Can Give Your Child and also the root of the problem; Survey Indicates Religious Faith Not A High Value For Many Christians.

I'd love to hear your thoughts, suggestions and answers.

The Greatest Gift You Can Give Your Child

I attended a dynamic worship service this past Sunday at Austin Christian Fellowship where pastor Will Davis Jr. and his wife Susie talked about raising children. They shared some powerful words of instruction and encouragement to parents about raising children in today's culture and landed on what I believe is our greatest gift to children from 3 John 1:4 where John says "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth". 

So the great question to ask yourself is what would bring me the greatest joy in my children when they become adults?  Susie makes this significant statement, "If your goal for your children is to get into a good college, marry a wonderful spouse or a live happy life, this tells a lot about you as a parent."  As followers of Christ, shouldn't our greatest joy be to see our children walking in truth, loving God and serving Him and others. If that is true, shouldn't leaving a legacy of faith be our greatest gift to our children?

Will and Susie gave some great advice on how to leave a legacy of faith in a culture that so wants to take you and your children in a totally different direction?  They explained that the the key is to impress the word of God into your child by making the word of God the backdrop for everything you do.

An important first step is to establish a mission statement for your family. Then talk about it, memorize it, post it around the house, stencil it on your wall or stick it on the fridge so that you children will see it, know it and learn to live from it. This mission statement, should be about what is most important to you and your family. It should be a summary of what would bring you the most joy in your children, your end goal as a parent. So when your child acts up or wanders off, you can remind them that their actions do not match their purpose.    

Do you have a family mission statement? If so, I'd love for you to share it.  

If not, Here is an exercise that will help your family create a mission statement.

Powerful quotes from the message:

• Make the whole template of God's word your end goal.
• Our long term goal for our children, the end goal of parenting is to have a faith that carries them through life, not a fear that cripples them.
• You shouldn't be the one who pushes your children into the dark because you can't handle their darkness. 
• Leave a legacy of belief and faith, not a legacy of fear. 
• What leaks out to your children? When you leak, you want to leak the word of God. If it's not in you, it will not leak out. 
• If you focus only on helping your child to be culturally relevant, to give them the best that culture has to offer, you'll grow a child to be culturally relevant but biblically irrelevant.
• We parent from a worldly mindset. Because we pursue, worry about, and fight about worldly things. 
• Help your children love the right things by you loving the right things.  1 John 2:15-17
• Our children need to see us loving the things of God. When was the last time your children caught you, praying, loving God, serving others? 

Watch the ACF message here

Family and Faith, Slipping Away But Still Our Best Hope

From ART.Com

If you are like me, you find yourself shaking your head daily, wondering what in the world is going on in our society today. I was shocked early on, but I've almost become numb to the disturbing news and shocking events that I hear about almost every day.  Perhaps more than anything, I'm most troubled by the redefinition of morals and values in our culture today. 

We seem to have lost our heart and soul as a nation. And because of that, our people must be governed more and more from the outside in, instead of living from the inside out.

For 2,000 years, our values and standards of right and wrong have been fairly consistent.  And the primary method of instilling those values has been through the church and the family. Our Christian faith teaches that we must be transformed from within to live out these principles which our society is built upon. These values of honesty, selflessness, love, self control, and freedom have been replaced with deception and cover up, saying whatever to make you look good, selfishness, hatred, irresponsibility, and control.  

As our society moves away from the Judeo-Christian ethic and Christianity in general, those in charge of regulating behavior must manage from the outside in. Think about it.  The two ways we maintain a society of law and order is to either instill a morality from within or manage with a set of rules and regulations from the outside.  So a person will either act in a civil manner because of what they have been taught or because of the fear of punishment if they are caught violating the law.  

When we rely upon the latter exclusively, imposing our standards and values from the outside, more control becomes necessary, more laws and more policing. We see it throughout our society, evidenced by our overcrowded prisons to sports leagues having to define their own codes of conduct. The more irresponsible we are as a society, the more control is needed and the less freedom we have.

As the family disintegrates and the church becomes less of an influence, (the two main engines for the development of character and values) the government must step into the void and find alternative ways to teach their values. So not only have our values changed but so also have the means by which we instill those values.

The media and our education system now have become the training ground for the new morality replacing the church and family.  So now the values are defined by those who have the most influence either in the media or government. And those values that have been such a foundation of our society for hundreds of years can now change from year to year depending on who has the power. 

The simple answer to the the problems we now face is to return to the two pillars of our country, family and faith.  I'm not sure whether we will ever be able to restore our families to where they once were. Will the church ever have the influence it once had to cultivate biblical values in our country? These are still our best hope and for Christians will remain to be our way of spiritual growth and character development, but I fear that both of these have lost most of their influence on our society in general.  It's a sad day and yet through it all, we know and trust that God is in control. 

Accepting ourselves for who God created us to be

It's not a big deal when an aging movie star attempts to stay young with cosmetic enhancements to their face and body. But this was different. The recent photos of Renee Zellweger’s new look have social media all abuzz, and had many of her fans scratching their heads.  Many were disturbed because Zellweger had so radically changed the look of her face. It's not that her new look was that bad.  Most would agree that her new look was beautiful.  What made Renee's change hard to accept is that the unique look that she had surgically altered is what we loved about her! Her natural appearance, her narrow eyes and high cheek bones, along with her personality gave her that lovable quality that endeared her to us. She was unique and beautiful, not by the typical standards of today’s models, but because of her unique facial features.

  

I don't want to be judgmental. I think most all of us do some enhancing along the way, even if it’s only with makeup or hair coloring. Few of us live in the world of those who can afford to get a whole new face. What I find so fascinating and troubling is to see a person who felt the need to change a unique, beautiful and loveable face into such a generic appearance.

I have no clue what motivated her to change but it may be a good insight into the human psyche and the culture that influences our choices. Isn't it ironic that the thing that drew people to Renee, the features that gave her that unique face that actually made her a star, are the features she disliked most about herself.  When we look at a picture of ourselves, we are often drawn to the one or two characteristics that we dislike.  It’s human nature.  And maybe for Renee Zellweger, her eyes and cheeks were what she disliked about herself.

Wouldn't it be great if we all focused more on enhancing our inner being, our character and integrity, than our physical appearance?  It is a lot less expensive but requires much more time and work.  

Here are some of the questions and points you could use for discussion with teenagers. 

• How does the world and today's culture push us to conform? 
• What is it that makes us want to be so much like everyone else?  
• How much pressure do you feel from your peers to change and conform to the fashionable standards of our society?
• Why have we lost our ability to see the beauty in the unique? 
• Why do we make fun of people who have unique physical features?
• Is it wrong to want to change or enhance our physical appearance?
• As believers in Jesus Christ, can we actually rejoice in how God made us and accept our uniqueness?
• In this crazy upside-down world, how can we learn to have a healthy respect for our own unique bodies and to also respect others who are different?
• What does the Bible say about outward appearances vs. the inner man or woman?  
• What are your unique features and characteristics that God has  given you?

Survey Indicates Religious Faith Not A High Value For Many Christians

The recent Pew Survey on the importance of teaching your children values reveals why mainline denominations are declining and signals an ominous future for mainline churches.  The survey conducted earlier this year as part of the Pew Research's new American Trends Panel asked respondents how important is it to teach a variety of qualities to children.  They were asked which three of the 12 values were most important.  

The values chosen in the survey listed in the order of how the respondents listed their importance were:

Being responsible   94%

Hard work                 92%

Helping others         86%

Well-mannered        86%

Independence          79%

Creativity                   72%

Empathy                    67%

Persistence               67%

Tolerance                  62%

Obedience                62%

Religious faith        56% 

Curiosity                    52%

I am shocked that religious faith rated next to the lowest overall of the 13. Those numbers are certainly skewed lower by those who have no religious faith. But what is interesting is how low the value of faith is to Christians who attend mainline protestant churches.  Only half of those surveyed said faith was an important value and only 22% said that religious faith was one of the top three values. If you don't instill faith as a value into your children, then what is important to you?  

No wonder the mainline protestant churches are in a decline. The future is in the children of its members today and its members don't even consider teaching faith to their children as important? And Catholics valued religious faith only slightly higher.  

I can understand not wanting to push religion on your children and wanting your children to decide for themselves. But the world, the culture we live in today, will do everything possible to persuade them away from faith and if you fail to even give them a choice by not demonstrating what it means to be a follower of Christ, your children may not have a fighting chance to become a Christian.  

Contrast that with those who attend evangelical churches and you'll find that 60% of the evangelicals consider faith to be one of the top three values and 84% said it is an important value. I find that even a bit low when you consider that we are taught that your faith in Christ is the center of most everything we do.  

What I can't fathom is that curiosity and tolerance were rated higher for those who attend mainline protestant churches than religious faith.  Does this surprise you?  Check out the survey here.   I'd love to get your thoughts on the study.

Grace Killers Among Us

The recent death of Pastor Fred Phelps and the resignation of Bill Gothard while being investigated on charges of sexual harassment brought to my mind Charles Swindoll's definition of a "grace killer" in his classic book Grace Awakening.

Swindoll doesn't mince words in his book, as he sounded the alarm in Grace Awakening,  "There are killers on the loose today.  The problem is that you can't tell by looking.  They don't wear little buttons that give away their identity, nor do they carry signs warning everybody to stay away.  On the contrary, a lot of them carry Bibles and appear to be clean-living, nice-looking, law-abiding citizens.  Most of them spend a lot of time in churches, some in places of religious leadership.  Many are so respected in the community, their neighbors would never guess they are living next-door to killers.  

They kill freedom, spontaneity, and creativity; they kill joy as well as productivity.  They kill with their words and their pens and their looks.  They kill with their attitudes far more often than their behavior.  There is hardly a church or Christian organization, school or missionary group or media ministry where such danger does not lurk.  The amazing thing is that they get away with it, day in and day out, without being confronted or exposed.  Strangely, the same ministries that would not tolerate heresy for ten minutes will step aside and allow these killers all the space they need to maneuver and manipulate others in the most insidious manner imaginable.  Their intolerance is tolerated.  Their judgmental spirits remain un-judged.  Their bullying tactics continue unchecked, and their narrow-mindedness is explained away or quickly defended.  The bondage that results would be criminal were it not so subtle and wrapped in such spiritual-sounding garb.

This day - this very moment - millions who should be free, productive individuals are living in shame, fear, and intimidation. The tragedy is they think it is the way they should be.  They have never known the truth that could set them free.  They are victimized, existing as if they are living on death row instead of enjoying the beauty and fresh air of the abundant life Christ modeled and made possible for all of his followers to claim.  Unfortunately, most don't have a clue about what they are missing."

Phelps, pastor of the Westboro Baptist Church, is easily identified as a grace killer among other things, because of his church's protests and picketing at funeral services including those of the military.  His anger was usually directed at homosexuals preaching that the deaths of American soldiers killed in Iraq and Afghanistan was God's punishment for society's tolerance of homosexuality.  

Gothard's focus on the law over grace set him up as a "grace killer". He developed a program with a lengthy set of strict rules and hierarchy in which to live by. Thousands of people followed Gothard and his extremely rigid code of conduct for marriage and raising children which he claimed was taken from the Bible. It was ironic that someone who never married and never had children could be such an expert on marriage and raising children.  While many swore by the school of Gothard, many others couldn't handle the control, manipulation, guilt and weight that was the result of his ordered life. 

These two are obvious targets but there are probably grace killers in your church as well that are not as easy to spot. Your pastor may even be one. Heck, you and I could be grace-killers without even realizing it.  

We need to first recognize when we personally begin to slide into the grace killing mindset.  Only by dying to self and letting go of the need to control others for our own personal gain will we avoid becoming grace-killers.  

What other actions do you find to be characteristic of grace killers?  If you are a pastor, how do you deal with those grace killers in your church?  How did Paul and Peter handle the grace killers in the early church?

The Importance of Values and The Penn State Tragedy

I must admit that I was once a skeptic of the whole idea of knowing and living out your values but I am now a full fledged believer. I confess that during the process of trying to define my own values and values for my church, I don't think I fully comprehended what values were and their importance.  What difference does it really make that I know these values?  But two recent developments helped convince me how important it is to know and live out your values.

Maybe you've asked the same thing when you were pressed to memorize your company's values.  What's the big deal with these values? And I've heard several people share that their church leaders go through the process of naming and proclaiming their values by rote because it's the current thing to do, not fully understanding the real value of values.

The first thing that helped open my eyes was reading the book Fierce Conversations. Author, Susan Scott explained that when your values and the way you live are not in alignment, you experience an integrity gap.  If your behavior contradicts your values, your body knows and will actually be affected on a cellular level.  You can become depressed, angry and prone to disease.  You will feel out of kilter, experiencing  emotional, spiritual and even physical discomfort. Your immune system can actually be weakened when your are not living out your values and you can be more prone to illness.
Much like the body, when the employees or members of organizations and companies are not living out the values of the place where they spend 1/3 of their time, their lives and the organization suffer.

The second thing that convinced me of how important it is to live out our values is what happened at Penn State.  I've heard over and over how much Penn Stare values moral character.  But the leadership's walk didn't match their values when they chose guarding their reputation over doing the right thing.  They chose to look the other way and sweep the ugliness under the rug instead of making the hard decision to turn in a fellow coach and face the scrutiny of NCAA investigators and image police.  The leadership was "out of integrity" and it certainly hurt them and lots of others because the leaders didn't live out their stated values of integrity and character.
Understanding the importance of living in alignment with your values puts a whole new light on the value thing for me. And if values are this critical then as a leader of my family, a company, organization or church, I must:

• Identify just what is important.
• Communicate the values effectively, 
• Hire people that align with your values. (companies)
• Encourage my employees, members, family to live them out. (celebrate and reward)
• Model them myself.   

Take an integrity gap checkup.  What are your values? Ask yourself how well does my life life actually match my values?  If there is a gap between your values and your lifestyle, you are out of integrity.

I am successful to the degree that who I am,
who God wants me to be,
and what I live
are in alignment.