Is your church growing an audience or building an army?

One of the greatest hinderances to the expansion of God's Kingdom is the failure of churches to develop new leaders, pastors and missionaries. We have been pretty good at gathering an audience to worship services and even into bible studies and small groups but are very poor in discipling leaders who reproduce other leaders. When asked in a recent leadership study, 92% of the 2,000 pastors surveyed said developing leaders was critical to the health and development of the church.  Yet only one in four churches said they had any plan to develop leaders.

For many pastors, missionaries and leaders, their path to the ministry was that they participated in ministry and were inspired, felt a call by God or conviction to serve full time and "surrendered" to the ministry.  They were the bi-product of ministry.  For me, I was offered an opportunity to get paid for what I loved to do in an area of ministry (sports). As I developed my faith and leadership skills another door of ministry would open and I simply walked through it.

But for me, and many others, there was never an intentional effort from my church to develop me or anyone else for ministry beyond the specific needs of their church. And even when we needed a paid staff position, we never looked to the members who were being developed because none were. No, the staff just sent out a search comittee to interview candidates outside the church and hired the best one. I was the exception, one of the few members who went from volunteer to a ministry position.

I was fortunate to have had a mentor that spent countless hours pouring into me, but I was never exhorted to develop others or pursue a calling outside of my ministry at this church. I learned by osmosis and when I led our Singles ministry, I developed leaders in our Singles ministry because I needed young adults leaders to attract and disciple other young adults. I didn't really know what I was doing or had any plan. I discipled out of a need and did what my mentor had done with me. I had the pleasure of investing my life into many young leaders and continue to this day.

In most churches that I am familiar with, the pastor or the staff does all the leading and most all of the ministry in the church.  Yet, there is really only one job description in the Bible for pastors.  Ephesians 4:12 tells us that we are to equip the saints for ministry. And even when a church makes an effort to do just that, equipping the saints consists of teaching and training. We tend to either dump ministry upon volunteers (tell and command), or delegate (teach and train).  But there is a higher level that gets neglected because of a lack of time or incentive to develop leaders (mentoring, modeling and coaching).

There is little immediate benefit in developing so for most pastors, the weight of the desire and or need to grow the church, to get bodies into seats, money in the plate and volunteers into ministry positions takes precedence. The developing takes time, investing hours into another’s life.  Yet it is critical for the long term growth of the church and the Kingdom that pastors make a priority to develop leaders. Not out of a selfish, what can this person do for my church motive but for sake of the Kingdom.  Every leader in the church should always be mentoring, encouraging and developing at least two or three people who can be sent wherever God leads them to serve, minister and multiply other leaders.

If you are in ministry in a church or non-profit, what was your path to ministry? What part did your church play in your development?  Who are you developing now?  What strategy does your church employ to develop leaders?

For a great perspective on developing leaders in your church, check out this Carey Nieuwhof podcast.

How to help your child, employee or congregation take more responsibility

I've had several conversations recently with frustrated parents and grandparents over the lack of responsibility their older children or grandchildren have even as teenagers and young adults. One mark of a mature person is the ability to make wise decisions.  And the same goes for a company, church or organization.  What makes them successful (bear fruit) is their ability to make good decisions from the leadership down through all of the organization. And the one big obstacle that hinders good decision making skills is the inability for the leaders to know when and how to release control and delegate responsibility and decision making to others. Too early and bad choices are often made.  Too late and the leader gets burdened with an overload of stress and work which can also lead to bad decisions.  

In a family, do you give your teenage son or daughter the authority to make decisions on their own? Sure there are many things you would like for them to decide for themselves each and every day, but there are other decisions that need to be made with the parents approval. How do you conclude which decisions they can make on their own and how do you communicate this?

Here is a great visual tool (The Decision Tree) that will help you as a leader or parent in the decision making process from the book Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott. The Decision Tree will help your organization be more productive (bear fruit) by identifying clearly, which categories decisions and actions fall into, so that an employee, child or volunteer knows exactly where he or she has the authority to make decisions and act and how to grow and empower others to get along without you. 

Decisions are arranged in categories based on their importance and impact on the organization. The analogy of root, trunk, branch, and leaf decisions indicates the degree of potential harm or good to the organization an action is taken at each level.

Poor decisions at any level can hurt an organization, but if you unwittingly yank a leaf off a tree, the tree won’t die.   A Root Decision if poorly made and implemented could cause major harm to the person or organization.  Giving a teenager or employee this visual picture and using it to categorize your decisions will give them a better understanding of what choices they can make on their own and what needs to be decided by the group.

Leaf Decisions  Make the decision. Act on it. Do not report the action you took.

Branch Decisions Make the decision. Act on it. Report the action you took daily, weekly, or monthly.

Trunk Decisions Make the decision. Talk about your decision before you take action

Root Decisions  Make the decision jointly, with input from many people. Leadership gives final approval.

The goal is to provide employees or volunteers a clear upward path of professional development. Progress is made when decisions are moved from root to trunk to branch to leaf.  As an employee demonstrates a track record of making good decisions in the trunk category, for example, it will be satisfying to both the employee and the person to whom she reports when those decisions can be moved to the branch category.  This works similarly with a child. The more responsible he or she is making branch decisions, the more responsibility they will be given to make decisions. 

The Decision Tree also raises the level of personal accountability.  Whenever we work diligently and brilliantly, without having to be told exactly what to do, it gives more ownership to the employee and unburdens the manager or executive of work.  It also teaches the child responsibility, confidence and increases their decision making skills. 

Where might the Decision Tree work in your life?

Work place.

Church.

Home, with your children.  

What pastors can learn from Tim Duncan

I'm a huge Spurs fan.  So I was saddened to hear about Tim Duncan's retirement after 19 seasons with the San Antonio Spurs on my birthday no less! I spent the day reflecting on the character of one of the greatest power forwards ever and what we can learn from him.

Tim was obviously a very talented basketball player, a 15 time all star, leading the Spurs to 5 world championships.  But what made Tim great even more than his basketball skill was his character and leadership traits. Few can be what he was talent-wise on the court but we can be like Timmy in the areas that made him so respected. Pastors would be well served to study his leadership skills and learn from them. Here are some of the traits I so admired.

Tim was a team first guy. In a sport that highlights the individual, Tim was the consummate team player, "the ultimate teammate", always sacrificing self for what was best for the team, whether it was taking a reduced salary or a reduced role on the court. He could have made so much more money if only he would have become a free agent and gone to a big market team. Yet he stayed in San Antonio and helped build a dynasty. You would expect the same from pastors but it's not always the case.  

You see many pastors moving from church to church, climbing the latter of success on the backs of church members instead of staying in one place and building a dynamic church. Three years and they are gone to another church. Then there are those who stay and continue to take raises that would shock you even while their church is declining in membership. Thankfully many of the young pastors I coach have taken a modest salaries or in some cases no salary at all so that their church could give more to missions. Maybe times are changing. Wouldn't it be great if all pastors were as selfless and humble?

Tim was a mentor to many. He took the off season to mentor and teach other big men, not just his teammates but those from opposing teams as well. There are stories from other players on opposing teams who recount how Tim would instruct them even during games. Etan Thomas tells about the time Tim told him during a game after Tim blocked his shot, "that was a good move but you have to get more into my body so you can either draw a foul or not get the shot blocked." Then a few plays later Etan explained, I did it again but he didn't block the shot and he looked at me and said, "much better".

One problem I find many pastors struggle with is insecurity. I'm not sure why it is that a pastor is so protective of his senior pastor position. It could be the expectations from members and the pressure he feels to live up to those. I seldom hear about a pastor who mentors another pastor to step into his shoes or to start another church. Shouldn't all pastors be training one or several young pastors?  If a basketball player can give instructions to an opposing player, you'd think a pastor could do the same for a fellow pastor. After all, we are on the same team. 

Tim was a quiet humble leader.  He lead by example more than words. Tim was fun to be around, someone who never took himself too seriously but took his job seriously. He set an example for others to follow.  He didn't have to try to be a leader, it was just who he was. He seemed very comfortable in his own skin and never tried to be anything but Tim. Players looked up to him and were willing to follow not because of position but because of who he was.  

Many pastors lean on their position more than quality leadership to influence others. Some are often too quick to make changes, demanding the congregation follow without laying a foundation for change with leaders of the church. Leading from a relationship of service, humility and authenticity would be so much more effective. 

I'm sure there are other characteristics of Tim that could help all of us in life. I'm thankful I've gotten to watch him play basketball all these years and I'm sure he will continue to be an influence on others in the years to come. 

Surviving Your First Mutiny

Most every church planter goes through difficult periods, times when the planter is tested to their limits.  One of those times in the first year or two of a church plant is when the planter loses some of his key leaders or core team members. During one of our Missional Association gathering of church planters, one thing on which they all agreed was that most of the initial core team would not be around to see the church they helped start, flourish. Yet, knowing this and being forewarned does not lessen the hurt and disappointment when a key person leaves your church.

   

One of our church planters shared how his best friend who had been working with him for over a year to get their church off the ground decided to leave to go to another church. This pastor was thinking if I can't even keep my best friend from abandoning me, how am I going to grow a church?  Yet, the next Sunday people were saved and life and the church went on without him.

Another pastor told how most of his entire leadership team including band members and their financial person decided to leave en masse. He found out that one disgruntled leader had influenced the team to mutiny.  One month later the team had been replaced and the church was growing faster than it had ever grown. This church planter remarked that the mutiny was actually a blessing for the church and that a couple of the leaders who left may have been an obstruction to growth.

So don't be surprised when a key leader or leaders whom you have recruited to help you start the church decide to move on. There could be any number of reasons and most have nothing to do with the church planter/pastor or their leadership.  Many people who have that apostolic gifting love starting things and once they get the church going, they feel their job is accomplished. For many others, their expectations of what the church will be are never realized. And when that hits them, they decide to search elsewhere. But whatever the reason, don't be surprised when it happens. How you handle that first mutiny will often determine whether your church makes it. Pastors can become so discouraged that they lose their passion and will to continue. But if you can hang in there, learn from the experience and continue to reach people, you and the church will be better off after the mutiny.  

Three things to consider about your initial leadership team. 

1) Think of your initial core team as the scaffolding for the church. They help build the foundation but they are usually not part of that foundation, the long-term pillars that your church builds upon. They are there for a season and you should appreciate them for their role in starting the church. Anyone who continues past the first couple of years is icing on the cake. 

2) The Second generation of leaders are usually much more consistent than the first. They are usually recruited from within the new church body instead of from outside of your church. These may be new believers or seekers so they have fewer expectations of what church should be and are usually more loyal to the mission of the church and the pastor's vision. 

3)  All growing things need pruning. You will need to prune away people who could actually be holding the growth or hindering the development of others in your church. When we hold onto everyone, we can stifle the growth of the church.

Your vision for the church and your expectations for the church members go a long way in how you personally react to people who leave your church. If you are concerned with your seating capacity instead of your sending capacity in the church you are pastoring, you will probably be distraught over any leader or influential family that says goodbye. But if your mindset is to disciple and send, then you as a pastor can actually celebrate the family that leaves as your missionaries to another location. These people are as much a part of your legacy as those who remain in your church! If your church has done a good job in discipling the family, you can be confident that their ministry and the things they learned will be passed on to their next church and circle of influence. 

The Cost Of Wearing The Pastoral Mask

photo from the-love-compass.com

Pastor Steve was on the brink of an emotional and physical breakdown. His health was not good and as he lay in a hospital bed after going through some tests, his mind traveled back to that first interview, fresh out of seminary, sitting nervously in a small church. Steve had heard that the church had been on a slow decline for the previous 5 years and had been searching for a pastor for over a year. He recalled how he sat wearing his best suit, displaying his super pastor image for a search committee of 7 elderly members, the remnant that held the church together. 

During the meeting, the committee had laid out their expectations: They wanted a man who could preach great sermons that would bring in lots of new converts. He was to lead the church in creating ministry opportunities, pastor the flock by visiting the sick and burying those who pass from this world. He was expected to bring in money to get the church out of debt. They counted on him to be a great teacher and administrator and of course, be above reproach and the example of what a true Christian should be and do. Steve convinced the church he was their man in that meeting and the church wanted to believe that this young man was God's choice and therefore would meet all of their expectations. 

For the past 7 years Steve had been wearing that same image. Looking back, he now wished he would never have put on the super pastor mask. He was worn out trying to live up to all of those expectations and felt foolish that he really believed he could do all of those things well.  He was ashamed and felt guilty of living a lie for the past 7 years as their pastor.  He felt like a failure in so many areas.

Steve was a good preacher and worked hard to please his members and to grow the church but it left him little time to handle the rest of his responsibilities.  Pastoring an elderly congregation, there always seemed to be a need to visit someone in the hospital or prepare for a funeral. He was a terrible administrator, he hated details but the church didn't have the budget to hire someone to handle the financial and business aspects of the church. 

Steve's family and marriage suffered because he just didn't have the time to give what they needed. He was working 6 days and 5 nights a week and there always seemed to be an emergency or meeting on his supposedly free nights. His spiritual life was running on fumes also. He knew things needed to change but what could he do? Admit that he was a failure, that he was a poser all this time as a pastor?

  

Coaching pastors, I find that Steve is not unique, unfortunately his situation is more of the norm. *This is the time most pastors begin to look for a way out, either leaving the pastorate all together or finding another church where they often begin the cycle all over again.  Steve was different. He broke down on a Sunday evening service and shared about his health and that he needed a break. He came clean about his feelings and guess what?  The congregation stepped up and agreed to take stuff off of his plate.  They seemed to understand and encouraged him to take a sabbatical in order to get healthy before returning.   

  

The problem is not all the fault of pastors. The American evangelical church has created the notion of super pastor that comes with unrealistic expectations and job descriptions. The truth is that most believers expect their pastor to have all five ministry giftings of the Holy Spirit; apostle, prophet, evangelist, shepherd, and teacher. But very rarely does any one person have three of the five much less all of them.   Most pastors excel in one and they try to manage the rest as best as they can. But before long you'll begin to hear the chatter among members, "Our pastor is a great evangelist but he is such a lousy pastor." Or, "our pastor is such a great shepherd but I wish he could preach!"

So how do we address the problem? What could Steve have one differently from the start?  Here are seven ways that may help a pastor avoid Steve's problem.  I'd love to hear any other suggestions also.  

1. Squelch the perception that the pastor is a super Christian. Two issues here are pride and expectations.  If a pastor never puts on the super pastor mask, he won't have to live up to it. There may be pressure to impress a church to get hired, but if you have to be "Jesus" to get the job, you don't want that job.  Be yourself from the start by being authentic and showing vulnerability. Talk about your strengths and your weaknesses, your struggles and failures. Remind the members over and over that you are not a "super Christian" but a human who sins and fails from time to time. I can only grow and succeed by the power, mercy and grace of Jesus. Stay grounded and resist the urge to be put on a pedestal.  
2. Take the ministry seriously but don't take yourself too seriously.  Joke about yourself and the boneheaded mistakes you make. Help others identify with you.  
3. Lead by casting a vision of unity and teamwork. Constantly remind the members that the church (members) should engage the world as a team.  The pastor usually plays the role of quarterback but unless everyone functions in unity doing their part, the church's goals and expectations will not be met.  
4. Set firm boundaries with your time for your own devotion, your family and free time. Communicate up front with your leadership the importance of those boundaries. Call on your leadership to hold you accountable to keeping those boundaries. Stand firm!
5. Work together with your leadership team to define your church's specific values.  Post those in a lot of places, preach about them, recognize and reward those who live out your values.     
6. Delegate, delegate and then delegate some more.  Give as much ministry away so that you as pastor can focus on leading, casting vision, and using whatever ministry gift that God has given you.
7. Don't isolate yourself.  Find a group of pastors from other churches that you can meet regularly with to play, pray and discuss your common problems. Make friends outside of your church that will allow you to get away from the business of your church.

*Average tenure for pastors at any one church is 5-7 years. http://www.gbjournal.org/8-82/
Here are other blog posts concerning this issue:

http://thomrainer.com/2014/06/dangerous-third-year-pastoral-tenure/

http://the-love-compass.com/2013/11/09/cultivating-authenticity-letting-go-of-what-people-think/

How Do I Smell To Others?

I happened upon a new reality TV show the other night while channel surfing. I admit I gravitate to the competition reality shows the most and this was a competition to see who would be the next weather personality. Don't laugh, this one episode actually was pretty entertaining for me because one of the contestants was a young pastor.  I was curious to see how he performed and how others perceived him. 

 

It turned out that the young pastor was the central figure of the show as his over-the-top personality irritated all of the other contestants. The contestants were divided into two teams for a competition and this young pastor just took over the team acting as self appointed leader. It was as if he had taken an intense course in leadership the day before and he was going to use every leadership quote, inspirational charge and team building concept he learned all in one setting. But his manner was way too contrived and he ended up looking like some sort of a cartoon character.

I could understand his motive but the way he went about it was akin to what the apostle Paul described in 1 Corinthians 13:1, if I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or clanging cymbal.  This is a great description of how the pastor sounded to his team members and sure enough when they lost the team competition, the pastor was chosen as one of two competing to see who was going to be sent home.

In an interesting twist, the pastor chose not to compete, actually volunteering to go home and sacrificing his opportunity so that the person he was competing against could keep his dream of becoming a weather personality alive. It was an admirable decision but left everyone scratching their heads. Because the pastor seemed to try so hard, it came across as contrived and insincere and he lost whatever he was trying to accomplish.

The Bible tells us in 2 Corinthians 2:15 that we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing.  Verse 17 says, Unlike so many, we do not peddle the word of God for profit. On the contrary, in Christ we speak before God with sincerity, as those sent from God.  

I've always thought that the most important self check is to take a sniff of our own aroma from time to time. Unfortunately, too often Christians' odor is more of a stench than the fragrance of Christ. How do you smell to other non-believers? Am I giving off a sweet aroma of sincerity and love or do I come across as a self-serving jerk, sounding like a loud gong or a clanging cymbal to others?  It's hard to know unless you ask your friends or fellow believers to give you a true assessment. You probably will never get a chance to see yourself on television and make that assessment yourself like this pastor.  

 

We may all be taken more seriously if we lived our lives with sincerity and love. 

The life cycle of a church: Is your church a movement, monument, museum, or morgue?

James Shupp has recently published an interesting and informative novel, Who Killed My Church, about a dying church and its pastor's last efforts to turn it around. This is a fictional story yet you'll recognize the problems as the plight of hundreds of churches across the country.  And Shupp writes from his own experience as a pastor of a once mega church trying to reclaim its glory and significance in the community. 

With humor and great storytelling, Shupp takes the reader through the fictional Green Street Baptist's struggle to reclaim its purpose and mission.  If you have been involved in a church for any time at all, you'll probably swear Shupp used members of your church as his characters and just changed their names. 

In the story, the church hires a consultant to help the leadership come up with a plan to revive their church.  Shupp lays out the seasons of a church, starting as a movement, slipping into a monument, then becoming a museum and finally dying at the morgue stage. As the consultant cleverly explains this to the leadership of Green Street Baptist,
"All churches that began as a movement have a way of getting stuck in a moment.  When this occurs, they transform into monuments that do little more than honor the past.  Nostalgia can roll through a house of worship like a heat wave on a summer day.  A church that collects too many of these monuments ultimately becomes a museum.  There are pastors and staff all across America who feel more like curators of a museum than men and women of God with a fire in their bones.  If this trend isn’t reversed, these churches will ultimately become morgues.  The frozen chosen are always the last ones to turn out the lights.  Don’t let this happen to you.”

I've experienced the slow transition from movement to monument while on staff of churches and have coached churches that were in the museum stage. So I can attest that although the book is fictional, the the story is relevant, compelling and inspirational.

Check out the chart from the book, Who Killed My Church? See if you can identify which season your church is in.  If your church is a monument or museum can you return to being a movement?  If so, how?  See how it's done in this wonderful book, Who Killed My Church?

The Greatest Gift You Can Give Your Child

I attended a dynamic worship service this past Sunday at Austin Christian Fellowship where pastor Will Davis Jr. and his wife Susie talked about raising children. They shared some powerful words of instruction and encouragement to parents about raising children in today's culture and landed on what I believe is our greatest gift to children from 3 John 1:4 where John says "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth". 

So the great question to ask yourself is what would bring me the greatest joy in my children when they become adults?  Susie makes this significant statement, "If your goal for your children is to get into a good college, marry a wonderful spouse or a live happy life, this tells a lot about you as a parent."  As followers of Christ, shouldn't our greatest joy be to see our children walking in truth, loving God and serving Him and others. If that is true, shouldn't leaving a legacy of faith be our greatest gift to our children?

Will and Susie gave some great advice on how to leave a legacy of faith in a culture that so wants to take you and your children in a totally different direction?  They explained that the the key is to impress the word of God into your child by making the word of God the backdrop for everything you do.

An important first step is to establish a mission statement for your family. Then talk about it, memorize it, post it around the house, stencil it on your wall or stick it on the fridge so that you children will see it, know it and learn to live from it. This mission statement, should be about what is most important to you and your family. It should be a summary of what would bring you the most joy in your children, your end goal as a parent. So when your child acts up or wanders off, you can remind them that their actions do not match their purpose.    

Do you have a family mission statement? If so, I'd love for you to share it.  

If not, Here is an exercise that will help your family create a mission statement.

Powerful quotes from the message:

• Make the whole template of God's word your end goal.
• Our long term goal for our children, the end goal of parenting is to have a faith that carries them through life, not a fear that cripples them.
• You shouldn't be the one who pushes your children into the dark because you can't handle their darkness. 
• Leave a legacy of belief and faith, not a legacy of fear. 
• What leaks out to your children? When you leak, you want to leak the word of God. If it's not in you, it will not leak out. 
• If you focus only on helping your child to be culturally relevant, to give them the best that culture has to offer, you'll grow a child to be culturally relevant but biblically irrelevant.
• We parent from a worldly mindset. Because we pursue, worry about, and fight about worldly things. 
• Help your children love the right things by you loving the right things.  1 John 2:15-17
• Our children need to see us loving the things of God. When was the last time your children caught you, praying, loving God, serving others? 

Watch the ACF message here

Family and Faith, Slipping Away But Still Our Best Hope

From ART.Com

If you are like me, you find yourself shaking your head daily, wondering what in the world is going on in our society today. I was shocked early on, but I've almost become numb to the disturbing news and shocking events that I hear about almost every day.  Perhaps more than anything, I'm most troubled by the redefinition of morals and values in our culture today. 

We seem to have lost our heart and soul as a nation. And because of that, our people must be governed more and more from the outside in, instead of living from the inside out.

For 2,000 years, our values and standards of right and wrong have been fairly consistent.  And the primary method of instilling those values has been through the church and the family. Our Christian faith teaches that we must be transformed from within to live out these principles which our society is built upon. These values of honesty, selflessness, love, self control, and freedom have been replaced with deception and cover up, saying whatever to make you look good, selfishness, hatred, irresponsibility, and control.  

As our society moves away from the Judeo-Christian ethic and Christianity in general, those in charge of regulating behavior must manage from the outside in. Think about it.  The two ways we maintain a society of law and order is to either instill a morality from within or manage with a set of rules and regulations from the outside.  So a person will either act in a civil manner because of what they have been taught or because of the fear of punishment if they are caught violating the law.  

When we rely upon the latter exclusively, imposing our standards and values from the outside, more control becomes necessary, more laws and more policing. We see it throughout our society, evidenced by our overcrowded prisons to sports leagues having to define their own codes of conduct. The more irresponsible we are as a society, the more control is needed and the less freedom we have.

As the family disintegrates and the church becomes less of an influence, (the two main engines for the development of character and values) the government must step into the void and find alternative ways to teach their values. So not only have our values changed but so also have the means by which we instill those values.

The media and our education system now have become the training ground for the new morality replacing the church and family.  So now the values are defined by those who have the most influence either in the media or government. And those values that have been such a foundation of our society for hundreds of years can now change from year to year depending on who has the power. 

The simple answer to the the problems we now face is to return to the two pillars of our country, family and faith.  I'm not sure whether we will ever be able to restore our families to where they once were. Will the church ever have the influence it once had to cultivate biblical values in our country? These are still our best hope and for Christians will remain to be our way of spiritual growth and character development, but I fear that both of these have lost most of their influence on our society in general.  It's a sad day and yet through it all, we know and trust that God is in control. 

A Better Way To Help A Person Change

Have you ever faced the pressure of helping someone make a change in their behavior or making sure an employee improves their production at work? And you feel the panic of having little or no confidence that you can actually help. A coaching approach is the simple and effective way to help others to change.
I learned while training to be a life coach that asking questions is the key to helping the one you are coaching to solve a problem, improve performance or get from point A to point B. In a coaching session, the coach simply asks questions and is not to offer his or her advice unless the one being coached gives permission. The reason is that using questions has been found to be the best method to accomplishing change in an individual. This method of discipleship is effective in most every area of leadership, from raising children to managing a staff.  Here is a great video from the Behavioral Science Guys that explains why questions are more effective than lecturing in leading to change.

Let's say you have an employee who is under performing.  Why not use the coaching method to get change and improve his performance.

• Ask questions to clarify the problem and assess current reality.
• Ask questions to create a goal and plan of action.
• Ask questions to determine the obstacles to achieving the goal.
• Ask questions for accountability and next steps.

So instead of racking your brain to come up with a solution for them, help them come up with their own solution by asking questions. Here are some coaching questions to ask:

   * Exactly what are we trying to accomplish?
   * What can you control?
   * What is out of your control?
   * What does the data reveal?
   * What are the potential causes of this situation?
   * What have others done successfully in the past?
   * In a perfect world, what would the ideal look like?
   * In a year from now, where would you like to be?
   * If you are unsuccessful, what is the worst that could happen?
   * If you could do just one thing, what would you do?
   * How will you measure your progress?
   * If we hired outside consultants to help us, what do we think they would do for us?
   * If we were trying to accomplish the opposite, what would we do?
   * Who can help you think about this?
   * What happens if you do nothing?
   * What are all of your options?
   * What are the roadblocks to success?
   * What is the first thing you need to do?
   * When do we need to make a decision/act?
   * If failure were not an option, what would we do?
   * If money were no object, what would we do?
   * What will you have achieved by our next meeting?
   * How would I depict this situation in a picture?

Check out Mark Miller's post on My Favorite Leadership Question

Want information on becoming a certified coach?  Check out Coaching For Clergy.

Coach Pop's Legacy And How It Relates To The Church Today

Tony Parker, Gregg Popovich (Soobum Im-USA TODAY Sports)

There has been a lot of fanfare around Greg Popovich's 1,000 wins as coach of the San Antonio Spurs, as there should be. Certainly this has been an incredible achievement.  Only a handful of coaches have accomplished this and only one other, Jerry Sloan, has won over 1,000 games with just one team.  

 

But Pop's legacy will go beyond his number of wins or the number of NBA championships as a coach and won't be finished when he decides to retire. His most significant achievement will be his impact on the league and that will be felt for many years to come because of the incredible amount of his disciples that will carry on his legacy for years to come. Pop certainly would not take credit for the abundance of former Spurs players, coaches and employees scattered around the NBA, but the number is staggering. 

In the high-profile coaching positions alone you'll find former Spurs like Alvin Gentry, Avery Johnson, Vinny Del Negro, Jacque Vaughn, Mike Brown, P.J. Carlesimo, Monte Williams and Brett Brown.  I haven't even mentioned the coaches of the two teams with this year's best records in the NBA, Steve Kerr of the Golden State Warriors, a Spur guard on the 2003 championship team, and Atlanta Hawks coach Mike Budenholzer who spent 19 years in the Spurs organization.  And it doesn't end with the coaching fraternity. There are NBA general managers, Danny Ferry, Dell Demps and Sam Presti who are disciples of Pop.

What is amazing is that coach Pop seems to relish the opportunities for his disciples to move on to other teams. Losing Brett Brown and Mike Budenholzer at the same time, two long-time assistants must have been incredibly difficult.  But I never heard one negative comment from Coach Pop, just proud accolades for both of them.  Pop just celebrates their new head coaching roles and reloads with a new batch of eager young coaches. 

Steve Kerr on Pop's legacy said, "His impact on coaching is dramatic. Pop has pretty much taken over the league.  All of his protégés are out there, spread all across the league, GMs and coaches. It's amazing to see guys are having a lot of success so the impact goes well beyond the game itself."

I couldn't tell you whether Coach Pop has always mentored coaches with the intent to send them out or whether it is just the by-product of the Spurs program that most every team wants to replicate. But you do know that Pop is very willing to let go of his coaches and he puts the welfare of his players, coaches and employees ahead of his own interests. This is very uncommon in the competitive professional sports world.  Yet, the team still stays on or near the top every year.    

What would it be like if pastors across the nation had the same attitude about their members and staff as Coach Pop?  Imagine, the impact around the world, if instead of being afraid of losing staff, volunteers, or members, pastors intentionally trained and discipled young men and women and actually encouraged them to leave their congregation and spread the Gospel, as missionaries or plant churches.  What if the goal was to send instead of trying to hold on to everyone?  

I spent 20 years on staff at a large church in Austin, many of those years ministering to several hundred single adults.  Now returning to Austin, I've had the privilege of reconnecting with some of those who still live in Austin.  Very few are attending my old church anymore. I've gotten invitations to attend churches all over Austin where they are now attending. This is not a slam against my old church.  It is just the way it is in most all churches.  

Few people stay for a lifetime at any one church. The average American family moves every five to six years, so unless they leave earlier for some other reason, 5 years is about as long as you'll have most members! To think you will be able to hold on to your members for much longer is fooling yourself.  This is one of the top stressors for pastors (I've counseled many pastors about their pain and frustration over a family or families that has chosen to leave their church) and many spend a lot of their ministry trying to find ways to 'close the back door' and maintain as many of their members for as long as possible. Members will leave for all sorts of reasons and if you take it personally, it can suck your passion for the church right out of you and possibly kill your ministry totally.

Yet every experienced church planter I know will tell a new church planter that the initial team that helps start your church will not be with you long term. They are coached to view your initial core team as the scaffolding to help build a foundation for your church but don't expect them to be there long term. 

So instead of getting all worked up about a family that leaves your church, why not do what Greg Popovich does with the Spurs, train them and send them out.  Heck, it's actually what the Bible tells the leaders of the church to do, help every member to see their potential as a missionary and equip the Saints for ministry.  You've got most people for five years, so why not implement some sort of 5 year discipleship plan that will help grow your members into mature believers who are equipped to serve as ministers and missionaries wherever they may end up. Then celebrate those who move on to take the Gospel and your church DNA to other churches, countries or ministries. 

It may seem counter-intuitive to growing a church, but it is God's formula! Focus on His Kingdom and you'll grow people, the church and the Kingdom!  We made the switch at Grace Point when several great families left our church for various reasons during a critical season. It was painful.  Yet working through the difficult period, we realized that San Antonio, being a military city, was a temporary home for many of our families. So instead of being discouraged about families who leave, we looked forward to seeing where and how they used what they learned from their time at Grace Point.  We set a God-sized goal to help plant 100 churches in 10 years. We discipled to equip and empower our members to go. After we made the switch from holding onto to sending, we began to grow again, doubling in size over the next ten years, sending people all over the world and planting more than 100 churches.

Pastors, you can relieve a lot of your stress, disappointment and frustration by replacing your old mindset of worrying about "closing the back door" with a big Kingdom mindset of discipling and sending. After all, God is a sending God, sending his very Son to earth so that you and I could be redeemed.  So why should we think differently?

The One Thing Pastors Must Do From The Pulpit

Mark Miller posted a great blog on this subject:  Inspire

After reading his blog, I was inspired to repost a blog I wrote a couple of years ago on the same subject. 

A mediocre person tells. A good person explains. A superior person demonstrates. A great person inspires others to see for themselves." - Harvey Mackay

I came across this quote the other day, which I quickly put into my most favorite quote folder.  It made me think of the former great football coach of Baylor University, Grant Teaff.  Teaff was an incredible motivator who turned that football program around in the 70’s leading them to the Southwest Conference championship with the miracle on the Brazos in 1974.  His inspiring stories and coaching moves are legendary and considered the key to his greatness as a coach.  I was fortunate to be a student athlete at Baylor when we won the conference in 74.  

One legend was how he used the illustration of eating a worm to inspire his team to victory.  Coach Teaff wanted to emphasize taking care of details so he shared the ice fisherman’s secret to catching fish.  Coach Teaff said the secret was to keep the worms warm.  He explained that the ice fisherman would keep the worms in his mouth until it was time to put them on the hook.  Warm worms attracted the fish and that small step was the difference between catching a lot of fish or coming home with an empty bucket. The coach then pulled out a big long earth worm and put it in his mouth, saying the difference between winning and losing was taking care of the small details.  The players went berserk, ran out on to the field and pulled off an incredible upset.  Coach Teaff used a great visual to get across a point but more than anything he inspired his team.

If I were to give what I thought is the most important thing for a pastor to strive for outside of being Biblically sound, it would be to inspire his flock.  When you prepare a sermon, Bible study, lecture or testimony, think about what you want to accomplish.  Shouldn’t you always have a goal to inspire others to change.  What sets the great preacher apart from the good is inspiration.

When I walk away from a great sermon, I'm motivated to change.  As I thought more about the significance of inspiration, I could see how important it is for all those who want to make a difference in the world.  Whether you are preaching, teaching, coaching or parenting, inspiration is such a critical ingredient to helping others change, and yet so many miss the opportunity.

Preaching today often is either all intellect and no inspiration or all hype and no substance. There is a trend in many churches today to emphasize teaching and imparting information in the name of discipleship. The goal is to dump a lot of information and hope some of it sticks.  The problem is that without inspiring others to own it, apply it, and share it with others, the information is just that.  Inspiration is what separates the mediocre from the superior communicator.   We can criticize the preachers who preach to thousands each week for their lack of deep content but what most every one of them has in common is that they do a great job of inspiring.

Whether you are a preacher, coach, parent, teacher or mentor, to be great, you must consistently inspire others.  Aim to inspire. 

Ferguson and Justified Sin

NY Post photo

A lot has been written and debated this past week over the tragic events in Ferguson, Missouri.  I watched in horror the unbelievable destruction of property and was amazed at how easily people could choose to do evil.  Here are a couple of my observations that I haven't heard or read in all of the discussion.

We all have a natural bent to sin as humans and there is a fragile barrier that keeps a populace from doing evil and living only for themselves.  When the people of a society feel justified or are given a license to do wrong, they will jump over the wall of law and order and act irresponsibly, selfishly and/or criminally. Sin is destructive to oneself, but justified sin goes even deeper because it almost always is perpetrated on someone else. It also brings a sense of righteous indignation and therefore brings about little guilt or remorse. 

When there is a justification to sin in any of society's systems that are created to maintain a safe and productive society, these institutions begin to crumble whether it is the government, an organization, company, or marriage. 

In a marriage, when both the husband and wife slip into justified selfishness, when you begin to justify an affair, your anger, your impatience because your wife or husband is not treating you right, then you can bet that the marriage is on life support. And the same goes for the government.

The two things that keep order in a society are strong moral values that are embedded into a culture or fear and control by the ruling power.  Justified selfishness erodes our moral values and when they deteriorate, then the state has to exercise more fear of punishment on the populace to control them.  So when there is a widespread entitlement to act selfishly, society either slips into anarchy or into a police state.  

My second observation is that people watch and listen and take their clues from their leaders and the power of suggestion can easily motivate people in the wrong direction. We are prone to sin without any prompting, so when those in authority give the impression by an action, inaction, words or even their silence, that it is ok to misbehave, we will jump at the opportunity.

Ferguson is an example but we've seen this before.  College students and young people have done similar acts of destruction when their team wins or loses an important game.  You'll see criminal behavior, breaking into and looting buildings, burning cars, sofas and the like, tearing up property, all in the name of celebrating a win. Who gives them permission to do this?  Where did young people get the idea that it is ok to do evil when their team wins or loses?  Could it be that the leaders of the institution, by their silence, somehow give permission to do this.

Our society's tolerance of sex outside of marriage is another example. Few of our leaders have proclaimed outright that teens should have sex any time they desire but when we pass out free condoms and emphasize safe sex to our teenagers, it sends a message to teens that it is ok as along as you are safe. It may be a subtle message but you can see the power of suggestion and the consequences. We have a whole generation of teens who view casual sex as the norm and as a result we have a huge increase in unwanted pregnancies, teens with STD viruses, abortions and an abundance of single moms.  

• Justified sin is the undoing of all of our basic social institutions.
• People look to their leaders and take their clues from what they say or don't say.  
• When our leaders lie, or abuse power, their followers will feel justified in doing so also.  
• Whether you are leading your family, church, business or country, you have a great responsibility.  Clear communication of what you expect from your followers and embodying the values your organization deems important are the keys to leading well.    

Can you think of a time when something you said, did or failed to say or do gave someone "permission" to do the wrong thing?

Survey Indicates Religious Faith Not A High Value For Many Christians

The recent Pew Survey on the importance of teaching your children values reveals why mainline denominations are declining and signals an ominous future for mainline churches.  The survey conducted earlier this year as part of the Pew Research's new American Trends Panel asked respondents how important is it to teach a variety of qualities to children.  They were asked which three of the 12 values were most important.  

The values chosen in the survey listed in the order of how the respondents listed their importance were:

Being responsible   94%

Hard work                 92%

Helping others         86%

Well-mannered        86%

Independence          79%

Creativity                   72%

Empathy                    67%

Persistence               67%

Tolerance                  62%

Obedience                62%

Religious faith        56% 

Curiosity                    52%

I am shocked that religious faith rated next to the lowest overall of the 13. Those numbers are certainly skewed lower by those who have no religious faith. But what is interesting is how low the value of faith is to Christians who attend mainline protestant churches.  Only half of those surveyed said faith was an important value and only 22% said that religious faith was one of the top three values. If you don't instill faith as a value into your children, then what is important to you?  

No wonder the mainline protestant churches are in a decline. The future is in the children of its members today and its members don't even consider teaching faith to their children as important? And Catholics valued religious faith only slightly higher.  

I can understand not wanting to push religion on your children and wanting your children to decide for themselves. But the world, the culture we live in today, will do everything possible to persuade them away from faith and if you fail to even give them a choice by not demonstrating what it means to be a follower of Christ, your children may not have a fighting chance to become a Christian.  

Contrast that with those who attend evangelical churches and you'll find that 60% of the evangelicals consider faith to be one of the top three values and 84% said it is an important value. I find that even a bit low when you consider that we are taught that your faith in Christ is the center of most everything we do.  

What I can't fathom is that curiosity and tolerance were rated higher for those who attend mainline protestant churches than religious faith.  Does this surprise you?  Check out the survey here.   I'd love to get your thoughts on the study.

Rethinking bi-vocational ministry

20 years ago the prevailing thought was that if you were a bi-vocational pastor, you were just not good enough to be a full-time pastor. Most every pastor's goal was to be full time.  After all, the job of a pastor, no matter the size of church, required more than 40 hours a week. For many the pastorate was viewed as a vocation, where one could make a better than average salary doing what you loved to do.
  
You went to seminary, got your degree and credentials and sent your résumé to potential churches.  Not much different from any other job.  You started out in a small church or a lower staff position to gain a little experience, then moved to a bigger, better church, with better pay and a better position.  You explain to your congregation with each move that God has called you to a new location. If you were fortunate enough and good enough you could eventually be called to a large church with a high paying salary.  Pastors changed churches (especially in the Baptist world) like college teams change coaches, working their way up the clergy latter.   

Today, the landscape of the clergy has radically changed.  More churches are struggling financially and full-time staff positions are becoming increasingly harder to find. Those going into the ministry today know that the big salaries of the past is not a reality anymore. And the perception of the bi-vocational pastor has also changed as the view of the pastorate has evolved into more of a calling than strictly a job. Those going into ministry have a purer motivation, sensing a calling much like a missionary would.  The church planters that I work with certainly don't start a church with the idea of ever becoming wealthy.  All of them struggle making ends meet, many sacrificing for their family, most having to raise their own support or be bi-vocational.

  

Many of our Missional Association church planting pastors are bi-vocational and there are some advantages to being bi-vocational.

  

1) A bigger percentage of the budget for missions and ministry

A few actually have chosen this course over a full-time pastor as a strategy to allow more of the church's budget to go to missions and ministry.

2) More members involved in ministry  

Having pastors who are bi-vocational also removes the stigma of the professional pastor who is paid to do the work of the ministry while the members come to be ministered to.  A bi-vocational pastor has to delegate, train and trust his members to do the ministry.  The pastor actually has to spend most of his time equipping the saints for ministry instead of doing it himself.  This is actually a good thing as members take on more of the ministry and feel a real ownership and fulfillment by using their gifts to grow God's kingdom. 

3) Pastors interact more with the secular world

Having another job working outside the church gets the pastor out of his office and among the secular world.  They will have more of an opportunity to share the gospel with non believers and they'll have a better understanding of what the members experience in the working world.   

The downside is that pastors seldom give away the ministry.  They often continue to work their 40 hours as a pastor and add their part time job on top of that.  Their families suffer and their health takes a tremendous toll.  A pastor transitioning into bi-vocation told me that since he was not full-time at the church, he feels out of the loop, like I'm losing control.  Maybe that's a good thing also.  A need to control is often the reason a church does not grow.

So if you are bi-vocatioal please don't consider yourself inferior in any way.  You may actually be in a better position to do what God has called you to do and your church may be healthier because you are bi-vocational.

For more on this, read David Wheeler's excellent article on the change in ministry from full-time to bi-vocational pastors.   David Wheeler's article

Prisoners setting the example of how to share the Word

I teach in a prison faith based dorm each week with 54 inmates and I come away each time learning something from the guys I teach. Like this week I was blown away by the incredibly simple but profound way some of the inmates are sharing the Word to other prisoners.  One of the inmates named Robert gathered some other inmates in the dorm together and brainstormed about how they could more effectively share the gospel to prisoners outside of their dorm. They decided to write scripture verses on small pieces of paper and hand them out to other inmates in the prison. Robert explained to me that he and his team have written literally thousands of scripture verses to encourage others and have given them away or placed them all over the prison.

He said this past week he was eating next to one of the inmates who pulled out one of the small pieces of paper with a scripture verse and told Robert, "I don't know who keeps leaving me these verses but I sure hope they continue. I save them and mail them to my children."  Robert said not everyone accepts them, but knowing that some receive the scripture verses and are uplifted, makes their effort all worth while. 

I am inspired and humbled by Robert and his band of scripture writers and distributors. I don't even have to write the scripture verses. I can get cards preprinted or printed on the computer with any verse I want.  Yet, how many scripture verses have I given away?  Not nearly enough. I'm going to follow their example and keep a handful in my pocket to give away.  And not only did you inspire me, but perhaps many others will be encouraged to follow your example and share scripture verses!  You never know how God will bless and use our simple acts of obedience.

Do we love things more than people?

I heard a powerful quote the other day which sent my mind in all kinds of directions, "People are created to be loved. Things are created to be used. Many of our problems stem from us getting this backwards. We love things and use people".

Wow!  This is so true and can be a problem in so many areas of our lives, from family to politics. We so often take advantage of people to get the things we love!  It is also a real problem in the church and is one of the main reasons people leave the church, never to return. When pastors use and manipulate their own members in order to get the things they think they need to be successful as a church or as a pastor, members of the church can sense that they are being used.  When that occurs, it's not long before they will be heading to another church or to never set foot in a church again. 

It may be one of the most common complaints I hear from Christians these days. For example, I was recently told, "I just feel so disconnected from the pastor and the church staff.  I am constantly asked to give money to this or that at the church and exhorted to participate in this campaign or this program but I can't remember when I was asked about me personally or even how I am doing spiritually."  

I had a conversation with a young man that had recently returned from a two year term on the mission field. He had grown up in the church that commissioned him.  He told me that he was very disappointed that once he got overseas, it was as if his home church had forgotten about him. No one ever sent a care package and there were no emails of encouragement. The only time he heard from the church staff was when they needed his help with a mission team they were sending his way. When he returned, many asked him where he had been. Most of the church never knew he had been sent on the mission field. He said wasn't expecting much but what he came away with was the feeling that he was being used, not loved or cared for. 

Leaders must be very careful not to love things more than people.  Especially in the church, we can get so caught up in leading, planning, preaching, evangelizing and sending missionaries, in order to make our goals, to grow our church, that we neglect the shepherding part of the ministry. And when we get word of a member's discontent, we often just dismiss their feelings as being selfish.  We have forgotten that the greatest commandment is to love God and to love people. If you fall into the trap of using your people to build your own kingdom, you can significantly damage the faith and the trust of those you are called to disciple.  

That is not to say we must not exhort and challenge our members to give, grow and be involved in ministry.  I also realize as the church grows, each member's voice can become smaller and it becomes impossible to stay closely connected to everyone. That is why it is so important to delegate the ministry and train up other leaders to minister to the members, in small groups or through ministry teams.  Creating community within the larger church is critical.

It really comes down to motive. What is my true motive for ministry?  Am I driven to succeed for the sake of success? If so, you'll probably use people to get there.  Or do I serve in ministry from a heart of loving people.  Will it help if I remind myself fairly often, that people are more valuable than any possession I may desire, including success and are to be loved and not used?  Search me oh God and help me not to love things. Grow my love for you and give me a heart to love people. 

Lessons learned from San Antonio Spurs: The Bonner Principle

Perhaps the greatest reason the Spurs are such a successful team, setting records for consecutive playoff appearances, is that they follow the principles that the apostle Paul conveys in 1 Corinthians 12.  It's no secret that Greg Popovich is considered the best coach today and the reason is that he sticks to the same principles, one body, one team with many parts all working together for one goal. As the Spurs attempt to win their fifth title most all agree that they are the epitome of a team that plays "team" basketball.  In a league where the stars are the focus and many games boil down to the star players going one on one, the Spurs stick to the team concept. All teams make an attempt at the passing game but never seem as committed to it as the Spurs. 

Popovich's players all know their goal, their abilities and the role in which they are called to play.  And because they don't try to be more than the assigned role they play on the team, they excel at what they do and so does the team.  Sure the Spurs have stars, Parker, Ginobili, and Duncan, but these stars and the rest of the team know their specific role and put team first before individual accolades.

Matt Bonner is another great example, a player who may not see the court on many NBA teams.  Not many want a slow footed big man that can't jump but he thrives in the Spurs system because they know how to maximize his talents, using his great 3 point shooting to stretch the floor and draw the opponent's big men out of the paint.  The coaches know his limitations but minimize them by using him in situations that call for his strengths.

Players like Patrick Mills last year and Corey Joseph this year, spend the majority of their time on the bench cheering the team on.  Mills made the most of his time on the bench last year waving a towel and cheering the team on and was ready when called on to play this year bringing that same energy to the court. Joseph was called on in the Thunder playoff series and did as well if not better than the starters when he got his chance to play.  

It should be no different in ministry, only our goal changes from winning a championship to making a difference for God's kingdom (much greater).  Our team is the body of Christ and God has given each of us special gifts and talents to accomplish His purposes which He has already prepared in advance for us to do. (Eph. 2:10) Church planters, pastors and all believers need to understand their unique talents and gifts and accept their unique role they are called to play in the body of Christ.  

Paul explains to the Corinthian believers, everyone is valuable in God's kingdom but not everyone can be a Michael Jordan. The team needs point guards, back up centers and forwards. They need scouts, front office personnel coaches and trainers.  All are important and play a role in a successful team. In God's kingdom we need house church pastors, urban planters, missionaries, Godly businessmen and women, children's workers and on and on. We can't accomplish God's work without any of them. Don't worry about being the next Rick Warren or Craig Groschell.  When you know your purpose, find your unique calling, do it well, you'll accomplish incredible things for God and will be an instrumental part of The Ultimate Winning Team.  Video of Spurs team basketball