Is your church growing an audience or building an army?

One of the greatest hinderances to the expansion of God's Kingdom is the failure of churches to develop new leaders, pastors and missionaries. We have been pretty good at gathering an audience to worship services and even into bible studies and small groups but are very poor in discipling leaders who reproduce other leaders. When asked in a recent leadership study, 92% of the 2,000 pastors surveyed said developing leaders was critical to the health and development of the church.  Yet only one in four churches said they had any plan to develop leaders.

For many pastors, missionaries and leaders, their path to the ministry was that they participated in ministry and were inspired, felt a call by God or conviction to serve full time and "surrendered" to the ministry.  They were the bi-product of ministry.  For me, I was offered an opportunity to get paid for what I loved to do in an area of ministry (sports). As I developed my faith and leadership skills another door of ministry would open and I simply walked through it.

But for me, and many others, there was never an intentional effort from my church to develop me or anyone else for ministry beyond the specific needs of their church. And even when we needed a paid staff position, we never looked to the members who were being developed because none were. No, the staff just sent out a search comittee to interview candidates outside the church and hired the best one. I was the exception, one of the few members who went from volunteer to a ministry position.

I was fortunate to have had a mentor that spent countless hours pouring into me, but I was never exhorted to develop others or pursue a calling outside of my ministry at this church. I learned by osmosis and when I led our Singles ministry, I developed leaders in our Singles ministry because I needed young adults leaders to attract and disciple other young adults. I didn't really know what I was doing or had any plan. I discipled out of a need and did what my mentor had done with me. I had the pleasure of investing my life into many young leaders and continue to this day.

In most churches that I am familiar with, the pastor or the staff does all the leading and most all of the ministry in the church.  Yet, there is really only one job description in the Bible for pastors.  Ephesians 4:12 tells us that we are to equip the saints for ministry. And even when a church makes an effort to do just that, equipping the saints consists of teaching and training. We tend to either dump ministry upon volunteers (tell and command), or delegate (teach and train).  But there is a higher level that gets neglected because of a lack of time or incentive to develop leaders (mentoring, modeling and coaching).

There is little immediate benefit in developing so for most pastors, the weight of the desire and or need to grow the church, to get bodies into seats, money in the plate and volunteers into ministry positions takes precedence. The developing takes time, investing hours into another’s life.  Yet it is critical for the long term growth of the church and the Kingdom that pastors make a priority to develop leaders. Not out of a selfish, what can this person do for my church motive but for sake of the Kingdom.  Every leader in the church should always be mentoring, encouraging and developing at least two or three people who can be sent wherever God leads them to serve, minister and multiply other leaders.

If you are in ministry in a church or non-profit, what was your path to ministry? What part did your church play in your development?  Who are you developing now?  What strategy does your church employ to develop leaders?

For a great perspective on developing leaders in your church, check out this Carey Nieuwhof podcast.

Study shows Christians influence in the U.S. declining rapidly. Is the church responsible?

A new survey released last week revealed just 10 percent of Americans truly have a biblical worldview, despite four times that amount believing that they do. *The American Culture and Faith Institute, headed by pollster George Barna, interviewed approximately 6,000 people from the general population and in church leadership in early February.
The ACFI survey determined that only 10 percent of the 6,000 surveyed answered the 40 question survey regarding biblical principles and lifestyle in a way consistent with a biblical worldview (way of understanding the world).

Using 40 questions on both belief and behavior, 20 on each, the researchers determined that someone with a biblical worldview answered positively 80% or 16 out of 20 questions in both belief and behavior categories.  A large percentage of those who claimed to have a Biblical world view answered questions that would not be consistent with the Bible.

For example, among the views adopted are a belief that people are basically good (74 percent) and having faith matters more than what faith a person has (66 percent). Other indicators that are consistent with a biblical worldview include a belief that moral truths are unchanging and absolute; that God created man in a miraculous event (not through evolution); and the Bible is totally accurate in all the life principles it teaches.

The survey indicated that the younger an adult is, the less likely they are to have a biblical worldview. Among adults 18 to 29 years old – commonly referred to as Millennials – just 4% were described as having and living out a biblical worldview. The number rose to 7% among those in the 30-to-49 age bracket; doubled to 15% among the 50-to-64 year olds; and peaked at 17% among those 65 or older.

The study gives a bleak view of the future of Christianity in America and indicates that our churches are failing to disciple. We may be drawing crowds but the big question is how many of those that are attending church are really being discipled?  Can you disciple a person who comes to an hour service an average of twice a month?

One of the problems Christians face is the declining belief that we are responsible for sharing our faith. (1 Peter 3:15).  As many as 25% of the most theologically conservative pastors did not embrace this statement.  Perhaps we are being silenced by the wave of culture which demands that faith is only personal and must be kept to oneself while trumpeting their secular worldview to anyone.

The truth is that the secular world is discipling 24/7 through education, government, media, arts and business.  The two mountains of influence that Christians have, religion and family are having less and less of an impact while education, government, media and arts (film and entertainment) are increasing rapidly. This is nothing new but perhaps this is the greatest challenge the church faces today because we have been swimming up stream in a rapid current for many years and falling further and further behind. This survey helps us take our heads out of the water long enough to see just where we are in the river of culture.

I’d love to hear from pastors and laymen.  As a pastor and follower of Christ, what can you do to counter the secular current of ideas and worldview?

*The American Culture & Faith Institute is a division of United in Purpose, a non-partisan, non-profit organization. The mission of United in Purpose is to educate, motivate and activate conservative Christians to engage in cultural transformation, in ways that are consistent with the gospel of Jesus Christ. The organization does not support or promote individual political candidates or parties.

Study reveals a lack of discipleship for a shocking percentage of evangelicals

A recent study conducted by Lifeway and Ligonire ministries indicates a distressing amount of evangelical Christians don't believe foundational Christian doctrine.  

When asked if they agreed or disagreed with the statement, God accepts the worship of all religions, including Christianity, Judaism and Islam, 46% of self-identified evangelicals agreed or somewhat agreed.  

Another statement in the study that raises some questions about what Christians believe was about salvation:
By the good deeds that I do, I partly contribute to earning my place in heaven. A third of the evangelicals agreed with this statement.  I would not be surprised if this was the response of Christians in general but to have a third of those who profess to be evangelicals say that salvation is based on some works is a head scratcher.  

There is an emphasis on discipleship in many evangelical churches today but I wonder just what we are teaching Christians theses days if so many don't believe in the basic tenets of the Christian Faith.  Are we failing to disciple believers or have we not taught and emphasized the basics in our discipleship?

There was a period of time where discipleship focused on teaching doctrine but we seemed to drift away from the basics to arguing about lesser doctrinal differences. Perhaps we got lost in the details. In the past few years evangelicals have shifted discipleship to more practice, missions and application of our faith, all good things. But have we so focused on the mission that we have forsaken the basics?  Have we just assumed new believers had a foundational belief system that you are saved by grace through faith and not by works? Have we forgotten to emphasize that Jesus is the way, truth, and life and no one comes to the Father except through Jesus.  

These two tenets of our faith pave the way for the way we see the world and live in it.  But they are not politically correct and go counter to the world's values of "inclusion" and "tolerance". However, if we compromise on these beliefs then we don't have the Gospel of Jesus Christ, we have a pagan synchronized religion.  Perhaps we need to go back to the Gospel 101 and re-educate every believer about the pillars of our faith and how these are what distinguishes Christianity from all other religions.  

How to help your child, employee or congregation take more responsibility

I've had several conversations recently with frustrated parents and grandparents over the lack of responsibility their older children or grandchildren have even as teenagers and young adults. One mark of a mature person is the ability to make wise decisions.  And the same goes for a company, church or organization.  What makes them successful (bear fruit) is their ability to make good decisions from the leadership down through all of the organization. And the one big obstacle that hinders good decision making skills is the inability for the leaders to know when and how to release control and delegate responsibility and decision making to others. Too early and bad choices are often made.  Too late and the leader gets burdened with an overload of stress and work which can also lead to bad decisions.  

In a family, do you give your teenage son or daughter the authority to make decisions on their own? Sure there are many things you would like for them to decide for themselves each and every day, but there are other decisions that need to be made with the parents approval. How do you conclude which decisions they can make on their own and how do you communicate this?

Here is a great visual tool (The Decision Tree) that will help you as a leader or parent in the decision making process from the book Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott. The Decision Tree will help your organization be more productive (bear fruit) by identifying clearly, which categories decisions and actions fall into, so that an employee, child or volunteer knows exactly where he or she has the authority to make decisions and act and how to grow and empower others to get along without you. 

Decisions are arranged in categories based on their importance and impact on the organization. The analogy of root, trunk, branch, and leaf decisions indicates the degree of potential harm or good to the organization an action is taken at each level.

Poor decisions at any level can hurt an organization, but if you unwittingly yank a leaf off a tree, the tree won’t die.   A Root Decision if poorly made and implemented could cause major harm to the person or organization.  Giving a teenager or employee this visual picture and using it to categorize your decisions will give them a better understanding of what choices they can make on their own and what needs to be decided by the group.

Leaf Decisions  Make the decision. Act on it. Do not report the action you took.

Branch Decisions Make the decision. Act on it. Report the action you took daily, weekly, or monthly.

Trunk Decisions Make the decision. Talk about your decision before you take action

Root Decisions  Make the decision jointly, with input from many people. Leadership gives final approval.

The goal is to provide employees or volunteers a clear upward path of professional development. Progress is made when decisions are moved from root to trunk to branch to leaf.  As an employee demonstrates a track record of making good decisions in the trunk category, for example, it will be satisfying to both the employee and the person to whom she reports when those decisions can be moved to the branch category.  This works similarly with a child. The more responsible he or she is making branch decisions, the more responsibility they will be given to make decisions. 

The Decision Tree also raises the level of personal accountability.  Whenever we work diligently and brilliantly, without having to be told exactly what to do, it gives more ownership to the employee and unburdens the manager or executive of work.  It also teaches the child responsibility, confidence and increases their decision making skills. 

Where might the Decision Tree work in your life?

Work place.

Church.

Home, with your children.  

Integrity? What is it and how do I live it?

With the crazy election and all of the accusations, I’ve thought a lot recently about integrity and what it means to live a life of integrity.  So I’d like to dig a little deeper into what that life looks like in the next few blog posts.  

One of my favorite quotes is from James Michener:

The master in the art of living makes little distinction between his work and his play, his labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his information and his recreation, his love and his religion. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence at whatever he does, leaving others to decide whether he is working or playing. To him he’s always doing both.”

I am a relational person who seeks to have fun in whatever I'm doing, so this quote really resonates with me.  When my faith, work, and play intermix and harmonize, I feel as much alive as ever.  An integrated (whole) life is one major aspect of living a life of integrity.

Yet this is not easy because most of us live our lives compartmentalizing work, play, family, and religion, especially those of my generation or older.  I can easily act one way for my family, another at work and play and wear another suit on Sunday and this feels as natural as eating and drinking. It is not even something I consciously do but is a built-in defense mechanism to keep certain beliefs and relationships separated from one another so they don't conflict.

That is why there is this perception of hypocrisy in the church. People see believers out on the town on a Friday or Saturday night partying it up and then in church on Sunday morning hearing about the evils of what they partook on Friday. It's the reason a pastor can preach on the sin of lust while having an affair or a business man who uses unethical business practices to make a bigger pay day and then sit with his family on Sunday morning listening to a sermon on integrity.  Living a compartmentalized life is living a life of hypocrisy and sin. 

I remember a skit that was done in one of the many summer youth camps I helped lead.  The skit was about a teenage girl hanging out with Jesus (a boy playing the role of Jesus) in her room. The girl gets a call from a friend inviting her to a party. She excitedly accepts the invitation and quickly gets ready and starts to walk out the door.  “Jesus” starts to go with her.  She turns around and tells him, “you must stay here”.  She turns to walk to the door again and Jesus continues to follow her.  This time she turns and adamantly proclaims, “I’m sorry but you can’t go! You don’t belong at this party, stay put!” The point was clearly made. There are places and areas of our life where we don’t exercise our faith, where we would rather not have Jesus taking part.

How well do you live an integrated as opposed to a compartmentalized life?  Consider how you keep your religious life separate.  Think about how much your faith has spilled over into other areas of your life.  Have you kept your faith life only for Sundays or do you take Jesus everywhere you go? If not, how can you better integrate your faith in the other areas?

More on living an integrated life in next week’s blog: the good news about the millennial generation and the church’s response. 

Keeping the main thing the main thing

One of the biggest problems we face in life is keeping focused on the most important thing.  Whether it's in our personal lives, business or church, the temptation to drift from your purpose is always a concern.  We see it in politics when candidates drift from the important issues and sports when players get distracted  and hurt their teams by getting unsportsmanlike penalties.  When we lose our focus, we seldom accomplish our goal.

One of my favorite verses is Hebrews 12:1-3 which speaks to the importance of maintaining focus "fixing our eyes on Jesus" and removing anything that distracts from that purpose, "throw off everything that hinders” or anything that keeps us from living the life God intended us to live. This is so important that there is a crowd of heroes of the faith cheering you on, to not be distracted and bound by the world's temptations and sin, to keep focused on the main thing.

For churches, keeping focused on the main thing is extremely difficult also. The 21st century church in America has drifted a long way from what the early church focused on which was to make disciples who make disciples. Now the church has become many things to all of us and the pastor's dilemma is that we get into so many well meaning activities that the main purpose gets put on the back burner for a season or sometimes gets neglected altogether.

I recently met with a staff member of a church who was hired to oversee several ministries of the church including missions. He was frustrated because there seemed to be no direction for any of the ministries. Many voices expressed a variety of opinions about what they should be doing and there was no limit on what "ministries" the church offered. The general rule was the more we provide, the more people we will reach.

Lost in all of the activities was the original purpose; to reproduce disciples. It's as if the church itself was ADHD. The staff, lay leaders and volunteers would jump from one emphasis to the next, juggling countless number of jobs but failing to do well the one thing that the church was created to do; multiply disciples.

When contemplating any ministry, shouldn't we begin by asking the question, will this help us accomplish our main purpose?  If so, then what is the best way we can do this to reproduce followers of Jesus?

Even in the ministry of missions, the purpose can get lost. We can do a lot of great things, supporting all kinds of beneficial missions from social support to missionaries on the field. We can send mission teams all over the world to work with all types of programs and churches. We can pat ourselves on the back, for all of our efforts but we often don't slow down enough to evaluate our missions, ministries and programs and whether they are accomplishing our goal of multiplying disciples.

When we view and filter ministry from that perspective, then a lot changes.  We don't do ministry because that's the way our denomination has always done it. We don't do ministry because so and so wants it. We don't do ministry because it puts butts in the seats. We do ministry to multiply disciples. Some ministries, even good things, may need to be tweaked or eliminated. Some long term, traditional acivities may need to be put on the shelf. This probably means some member’s pet ministry may have to be sacrificed.

These are difficult decisions and can be painful but Hebrews 12 conveys just how critical it is.  The whole spiritual world is rooting, cheering, encouraging you to not be distracted and keep your eye on, your focus on the main thing: Jesus.

More on keeping your focus click here

For Such A Time As This

If you were like me, you watched the men’s 4x100  freestyle relay on the edge of your seat screaming for the U.S. swimmers. With the win Michael Phelps now has 19 gold medals in his fifth Olympics. An unbelievable accomplishment may be an understatement.  And yet what may be even more incredible is his story, which he is telling freely, from the highs of winning gold medals to the depths of wanting to commit suicide and back again to a restored life of purpose.

After his second DUI, Phelps was at the lowest point of his life, ready to end it all. “He had no idea what to do with the rest of his life,” said his longtime coach, Bob Bowman. “It made me feel terrible. I remember one day I said: ‘Michael, you have all the money that anybody your age could ever want or need; you have a profound influence in the world; you have free time — and you’re the most miserable person I know. What’s up with that?’ ”

A lot of his story revolves around his strained relationship with his father who divorced and left the family when Michael was nine. But what Michael is telling but often overlooked is the catalyst for the change. 

Michael says that when he was at the bottom, Ray Lewis, a strong Christian and former NFL great, encouraged Michael to not give up and recommended the book, The Purpose Driven Life. The book gave Phelps new direction, new hope and a new purpose in life. The result is a new life, a reconciliation with his father and a story of redemption that he can tell to help others change their life.  If you haven't watched the full ESPN story, it is worth your time.  The Lewis part starts around the 7 minute mark.

Watch the story here.

I’m wondering where Phelps would be without that encouragement from Ray Lewis. I think about Esther and the words of Mordecai, “for such a time as this”. For Lewis, his act of obedience to help lift up Phelps in a time of great need was crucial.  

Where has God placed you in this moment? For whom can you be a catalyst for change? Don’t miss the opportunity to encourage someone today to live a life of purpose in Christ Jesus. It may be the difference between life and death. 

Pokemon Go getting people to church, Gospel Go getting the church to the world.

I see many things through the lens of the Gospel so seeing how Pokemon relates to our faith isn’t so crazy. But I can’t take total credit for the comparison. This observation came from a pastor I coach in a discussion about the Pokemon Go phenomenon. I don’t play but I understand the game sends players with their smart devices all over the place to find and capture Pokemon "monsters".

So it's been credited with getting young computer gamers outside, discovering their city instead of spending all their time on computers in their homes. One of the popular stations where the Pokemon characters are being placed is in churches. One gamer said that as many as 70% of the landmarks where you collect "monsters" are churches. I saw a tweet that said, what if Pokemon Go is just a conspiracy to get young people to church?  

It's ironic that a secular computer game is actually getting people to church.  My pastor friend pointed out in our discussion, "it is unfortunate Christians don't have the same enthusiasm and passion to go and make disciples as the Pokemon players do in capturing their 'monsters’". That ignited a discussion about the similarities between Pokemon and the great commission.  Think about it.  There are a few similarities.

First off, Christians have been given similar instructions as those playing Pokemon.  In Matthew 28:18-19 we are told to Go, get out of the church, your house, your comfort zone and travel to identify people, not computer characters but real people, and to share the love of God with them to make disciples. I guess you could say our task is not to capture them but to convert people to faith in Christ. 

In Pokemon Go I’m told you can accumulate points or monsters to compete against other players. When we participate in the Great Commission, we also receive something to help us with the task.  We receive power from God to help us accomplish His will. Acts 1:8.  

In Pokemon you are playing in a fantasy computer world that is integrated with the real world. In the great commission, you are participating in the Kingdom of God, the real world. 

Where the comparison ends of course is that the Great Commission is not a game, it is a matter of life and death for eternity for real people. 

There may be more similarities.  For those Christians who play the game, I'd like to know what you think and if there are other comparisons.  One thing for sure, it's a strange and rapidly changing world in which we live. 

I'm sure Pokemon is a fun game but I sure wish Christians would get as excited about the Great Commission and spend their time going out into the world to share the Gospel with those who don't know Christ as they do playing a computer game. 

Are You A "Skin Tag" Christian?

My pastor, Will Davis Jr., used a crazy analogy this past week to illustrate the life of many Christians. He said many are like "skin tags", those little extra growths of skin we get that have blood pumping through but are absolutely good for nothing. I was laughing at the metaphor as he explained that these "skin tags" are like the spiritual lives of many Christians. They may have the spiritual blood of Christ running through them, but apart from attending an occasional church service, they are pretty much useless to God's kingdom. Kind of gross but it is a good analogy.  Watch the full sermon here.

It is my observation that my generation of Christians (baby boomers) is overflowing with "skin tag" believers. You'll find a lot who attend mega churches, those who want to pop in and out without being noticed. Our generation created the mega church phenomenon. Many have little to no investment in the church they attend and yet they believe they are doing their "Christian duty" by attending occasionally.  

One of the reasons I think this is so prevalent in my generation is that we baby boomers are experts at compartmentalizing our lives. We set aside Sunday mornings for church and a certain amount of days during the week for work and then some for rest or recreation. We live to keep them separate. And so, it is very easy for us to keep our spiritual life from intersecting with our daily life. 

One of the refreshing aspects of the millennial generation is that these young adults seek a different lifestyle than that of their parents. They don't compartmentalize as much. They want a more integrated life instead. Take work for example. They want life, not just a work/life balance. They would like to have time for their friends, family, hobbies, and other small pleasures and pastimes. They work to live, not live to work, and so they want their work to be fun and meaningful.  As one millennial put it, "I want my job to align who I am with what I do".  The older generations may look at them as lazy but I don't begrudge them for wanting to live an integrated life.  

This applies to their faith also. Millennials want to be able to live their faith 24/7.  It's not only a Sunday morning thing for them, it is a lifestyle!  That is what the first century Christians experienced and is what life in Christ should be. But that hasn't been the case for many Christians for years now. 

That may be changing as this new integrated life mindset is having an affect on the church today. The missional movement and the idea of "you don't go to church, you are the church wherever you go" are concepts that have been brought about because of this change of perspective.  There is a higher expectation to being a follower of Christ now, focusing more on application of faith than just knowledge.

It may be harder in the future to be a follower of Christ because of this. So there may be a decline in those who say they are Christians, but those who choose to follow Christ will be more devoted and hopefully a much better model of Jesus to the world than my generation of believers.
For more about the work habits of millennials, check out this blog post, 8 reasons millennials seem lazy at work.

Overcoming The Fear Of Sharing The Gospel

photo from Pixabay.com

If you have spent any length of time in an evangelical church, you've probably been encouraged to share the Gospel with as many people as possible. You are told that this is your responsibility as a Christian, to make disciples. But I know that many Christians have a fear of sharing.  The church has tried to overcome this through training programs. I've been a Christian long enough to have gone through several from Evangelism Explosion to F.A.I.T.H. I've memorized the Roman Road and used various methods on evangelistic outings here and in other countries.   

I came to the conclusion long ago that a programmed approach to sharing the Gospel is not the most effective way to lead someone to Christ. It may be the fastest way to touch the most people, but I don't think that it has the lasting impact that relationship evangelism has. It may also be the reason many Christians have an aversion to sharing the Gospel, being uncomfortable using this sterile approach which is more like a salesman trying to reach some numerical goal instead of a deep concern for an individual. 

Most pastors would agree that developing relationships and sharing with a circle of friends and neighbors is the most effective way to spread the Gospel. We build trust and a relationship before we talk about faith. We find common ground and discuss a variety of topics and begin to get below the surface conversation.  However, there comes a time in the relationship when we need to move into the intimate discussion about faith. This is often the most difficult part and where we fail.  How do I make a smooth transition from one topic to the Gospel? 

If you've ever been through an evangelism training course you've been taught to ask certain questions. A popular question is, "after you die, you stand before God, and God asks you why He should let you enter heaven, what would be your answer?"  That question may get to the theological position of the one you are questioning but it also puts them on the defensive. It assumes that the one asking the question has all the answers.  It is far from being the most effective way and may as easily shut down the conversation or turn someone away from faith.  

Here is a natural, relational approach with some suggestions and better questions to ask to open up a discussion about faith that can lead to sharing the Gospel.  

Start by sharing a frustration or problem that you have.  For someone to be more forthcoming about their problems, you often have to initiate by becoming more vulnerable. After sharing, if your friend still is not willing to open up about his or her life, you may ask a question like this.  

What keeps you awake at night?  

What do you struggle with the most?  

What brings you the most stress at this time of your life?

When someone begins to share a problem, we can respond with how we rely upon our faith in Christ to help us deal with problems in our life. So our testimony now becomes a part of the discussion. However, don't be too eager to talk. Take time to listen and probe about your friend's issues. 

Once you have shared on a deeper level about your own issues and how you handle them, then you can explore more about their faith. You've now opened the door to a faith discussion, and how your friend responds helps determine your next step. If you sense an openness, then you may want to ask questions such as:  

How do you cope with your problem?

What part does faith play in helping you with your stress or anxiety?  

The answer to these questions should help you to begin to discover what your friend believes about God and Jesus.  If you still are not sure what your friend believes, you may want to be a little more direct.  You can talk about your faith growing up, why you believe, or your conversion experience.  This leads to questions like:

Did you grow up going to church?  

What did your parents believe?  

Does faith play any role in your life?

If you find that your friend does not have a relationship with Christ, or their relationship with Jesus is not where they wished it was, the next question may be the key to helping someone take the a step to becoming a follower of Christ.

This question gets to the root of the issue and is one that Jesus addressed with the rich young ruler. In Luke 18:18 we read about Jesus' encounter with the rich ruler and the ruler's question to Jesus, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?"  Jesus doesn't answer directly but probes to determine the one thing that keeps the young ruler from a relationship with Jesus, and that is the ruler's love of money. 

This is a great question! 

What do you think is the greatest thing that prevents you from having a relationship with Jesus Christ?  

This question can be for the searcher who is struggling to make the decision to follow Christ or it could be for the believer who desires more in their relationship with God. Jesus knew what it was for the young ruler and he identified it for him. For us, we don't have that power so we must ask and probe to help one discover for themselves what the barrier might be to a life of full devotion to Jesus Christ. 

Once identified, then you can begin to suggest ways to overcome the obstacle that prevents them from believing. A common response is, "I don't feel worthy or good enough" or "I need to get my life in order first."  This can lead to a discussion about God's grace and what the Bible says we need to have a relationship with Jesus.  Now you are sharing the Gospel!  

Don't be afraid to share.  The key is asking good questions that bring about deeper discussion, intense listening, and the willingness to transition to sharing your faith and the Gospel. 

What is it that keeps you from having the relationship that Jesus desires to have with you?

What are some questions that you use in the process of sharing the Gospel?

How to receive God's blessings

People today are still very much like those in the New Testament times.  They want the blessings of God more than they want God.  We see in John 6:26-40, after Jesus feeds the 5,000, they begin to follow him wanting more food.  Feed us every day just like when Moses fed us as our ancestors wandered in the wilderness. 

We see the same kind of faith or lack of, today in the prosperity gospel churches where people come to receive "blessings".  "Give and you shall receive", the preachers proclaim.  "See how God has blessed me!  You too can have a nice car, a beautiful house and riches untold if only you give to God (me, my church) your money". 

And the prosperity gospel churches are not the only ones that rely upon such tactics. You can see it also used in mainline churches, only a more subtle version.  It's not the doctrinal belief system that the church is built upon like the prosperity churches, but in many churches you'll hear testimony from members to the fact that God has blessed them when they gave to the church, building campaign, pastors discretionary fund, etc.  It is a manipulatory tactic to get people to give more. Ironic that we use manipulation on our people by manipulating them to believe we can manipulate God into giving us material wealth, if we give to the church.  It's not that those giving testimony are not telling the truth. They believe God has blessed them and indeed God probably has. But the fallacy is in reason why God blesses his children. He does it because God loves us, not because we have earned it in some way.   

We see the same problem with those who followed Jesus around. They wanted to know just what they needed to do to gain the blessings of God, to get a free meal every day.  They wanted the blessings much more than they wanted Jesus.  Jesus didn't say you need to give money to the church or to me.  He didn't say you need to pray five times a day.  He didn't say you need to sacrifice a lamb or go to the Temple on the Sabbath.  He said in verse 29, "believe in Me". "God provided the bread from heaven, not Moses.  I am the bread.  I am the manna.  Put your faith and trust in me.  It is a relationship with you that I want.  Not your works or your money, just your time, your worship, your heart".

This may be the hardest concept for us to accept.  It is what separates all religions from true Christianity. We want so much to believe that we must accomplish something in order to receive God's blessings. It is so counter intuitive that this simple doctrine of grace is what keeps many from that relationship with Jesus.  

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast. 10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:8-10

What would it look like if we understood that Jesus wants our devotion not works? How would I live my life differently if I could fully comprehend the depth of that relationship and the grace that Jesus offers? 

Surviving Your First Mutiny

Most every church planter goes through difficult periods, times when the planter is tested to their limits.  One of those times in the first year or two of a church plant is when the planter loses some of his key leaders or core team members. During one of our Missional Association gathering of church planters, one thing on which they all agreed was that most of the initial core team would not be around to see the church they helped start, flourish. Yet, knowing this and being forewarned does not lessen the hurt and disappointment when a key person leaves your church.

   

One of our church planters shared how his best friend who had been working with him for over a year to get their church off the ground decided to leave to go to another church. This pastor was thinking if I can't even keep my best friend from abandoning me, how am I going to grow a church?  Yet, the next Sunday people were saved and life and the church went on without him.

Another pastor told how most of his entire leadership team including band members and their financial person decided to leave en masse. He found out that one disgruntled leader had influenced the team to mutiny.  One month later the team had been replaced and the church was growing faster than it had ever grown. This church planter remarked that the mutiny was actually a blessing for the church and that a couple of the leaders who left may have been an obstruction to growth.

So don't be surprised when a key leader or leaders whom you have recruited to help you start the church decide to move on. There could be any number of reasons and most have nothing to do with the church planter/pastor or their leadership.  Many people who have that apostolic gifting love starting things and once they get the church going, they feel their job is accomplished. For many others, their expectations of what the church will be are never realized. And when that hits them, they decide to search elsewhere. But whatever the reason, don't be surprised when it happens. How you handle that first mutiny will often determine whether your church makes it. Pastors can become so discouraged that they lose their passion and will to continue. But if you can hang in there, learn from the experience and continue to reach people, you and the church will be better off after the mutiny.  

Three things to consider about your initial leadership team. 

1) Think of your initial core team as the scaffolding for the church. They help build the foundation but they are usually not part of that foundation, the long-term pillars that your church builds upon. They are there for a season and you should appreciate them for their role in starting the church. Anyone who continues past the first couple of years is icing on the cake. 

2) The Second generation of leaders are usually much more consistent than the first. They are usually recruited from within the new church body instead of from outside of your church. These may be new believers or seekers so they have fewer expectations of what church should be and are usually more loyal to the mission of the church and the pastor's vision. 

3)  All growing things need pruning. You will need to prune away people who could actually be holding the growth or hindering the development of others in your church. When we hold onto everyone, we can stifle the growth of the church.

Your vision for the church and your expectations for the church members go a long way in how you personally react to people who leave your church. If you are concerned with your seating capacity instead of your sending capacity in the church you are pastoring, you will probably be distraught over any leader or influential family that says goodbye. But if your mindset is to disciple and send, then you as a pastor can actually celebrate the family that leaves as your missionaries to another location. These people are as much a part of your legacy as those who remain in your church! If your church has done a good job in discipling the family, you can be confident that their ministry and the things they learned will be passed on to their next church and circle of influence. 

One Great Hindrance To Spiritual And Emotional Health

At our recent Missional Association lunch our church planters were discussing the critical need for pastors to have friends who will hold them accountable.  A fellow pastor shared how he was meeting regularly with a small group of fellow pastors they called "holy friends". This group's definition of a holy friend was really poignant. 

"A Holy friend is someone who challenges the sins we've grown to love, affirms the gifts we're afraid to claim and helps us dream the dreams we could not otherwise dream."

Wouldn't it be great if we all had a friend or group of friends that would do this!  How much healthier would we all be?

I believe the lack of "holy friends" in a Christian's life is one of the greatest hindrances to a spiritually and emotionally vibrant life. Men tend to have this void more than women. Men usually form friendships based on activities. Our conversations usually consist of sports, politics, family and sometimes religion. But seldom do men get to a level below the surface conversations. I admit it is very difficult to share your weaknesses and failures to another. And yet we all need a friend or friends with whom we can declare our aspirations, disclose where we struggle and divulge our fears. We all need "holy friends". "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another" Prov. 27:17. To be spiritually mature we need comrades with whom we can be real and honest, guys we can trust, who will pray for us, who won't condemn or gossip but lift us up and encourage us to be more like Christ. 

The Bible emphasizes how critical relationships are to each member of the body of Christ. The term "one another" is only one word in Greek and is used 100 times in 94 New Testament verses. Galatians 6:2 counsels us to bear one another's burdens. Ephesians 4:25 admonishes us to speak truth to one another.  Colossians 3:9 instructs not to lie to one another and 1 Thessalonians 5:11 exhorts us to encourage and build up one another.  James 5:16 exhorts us to pray for one another.  Spiritual maturity is best achieved through relationships.

Pastors have a unique dilemma in this regard because they find opening their life up to church members a dangerous proposition. Unless a pastor has close friends outside of his church or a group of fellow pastors he meets with, he can find himself all alone and susceptible to using unhealthy escape mechanisms like drugs, pornograpy or affairs to deal with the pressure of the ministry.  Let's face it, pastors and all Christian men and women need holy friends.

Some churches try to organize men's and women's small groups to facilitate these kinds of relationships.  But it's very difficult to program this level of openness and commitment. It almost always happens organically. But you can be intentional about finding and developing this level of relationship.  Here are some suggestions and I'd love for you to share any other ideas. 

1. Take it slow.  Look for friends that you already have and be their "holy friend". Discuss the possibility of a "holy friendship".  Set aside a regular meeting to discuss personal issues. 
2. Keep your discussions confidential. Agree to tell no one, not even your wife, what you disclose in your meetings and honor that covenant. 
3. You be a holy friend and open up first. As you share deeper, this should encourage your friend to open up.  If it is always a one sided discussion, then you probably need to look for another "holy friend". 
4. Focus not on the sin, but on the reason for the sin. Talk about why you feel the need to do what you do.  
5. Set goals and guidelines and ask about them each time you meet.  Be honest and transparent. You can only be held accountable to that which you reveal. 
6. Give permission for your accountability partner to kick your butt when you need a butt-kicking. 
7. Seek progress not perfection.
8. Don't focus totally on the negative. Discuss dreams and aspirations. Affirm and encourage each other. 
9. Keep the circle small. Many find it more beneficial to have three persons meeting for accountability. But the more you add beyond three the more difficult it becomes to have everyone at the meetings consistently. Consistency is critical to success. 

Is Your Story in God's Story?

God's story of the creation of the earth and His purpose for his children is being written as you read this. If you are a child of God, you are in the book God is writing and you have your own chapter. You are writing that chapter now, and the experiences you have gone through are in that chapter and they are there to prepare you for the rest of the book, yet to be written. 

Why is this important?  Because the story of your life and how God has reconciled you is unique and significant. People need to hear your story because it represents the power of Christ, of what He has done and what He will do in the future. 

You may have grown up with two Christian parents like me and you think your story of becoming a follower of Christ to be rather boring. But I would bet there are some significant events that shaped your faith that are unique to you.  From the victories to the trials and heartbreaks of life, each experience has probably had some kind of relationship to your faith. Even though my story does not include a spectacular conversion, I look back and see significant events that chronicle a relationship with Jesus.

For me, I grew up with a thorough understanding of God's law because I had Christian parents but I had no clue about God's grace. It wasn't until I was invited to church by a high school friend that I began to learn about the grace of God. It was at this small church in West Covina, California that I would accept God's grace, become involved in the church for the first time and develop a passion for ministry. I vividly remember exchanging my life for Christ on a mountain side during a weekend church retreat. These four years radically shaped my understanding of God's grace and my purpose for living. Over the years, through my many mission trips and involvement with all kinds of people in ministry, my understanding of God's grace and truth has grown. It's like discovering the universe.  The further you go and the more of it you discover, the deeper it gets. You realize that you have just scratched the surface. 

I remember telling my story to a man from Scotland I was sitting next to on an African Safari. He and his mother were on a vacation of a lifetime and this safari was the highlight. The context of my story was that this Scottish man had been trying out the Mormon religion for a couple of years. I used my story to explain the difference between Christianity and Mormonism. It was a surreal experience because we were on this incredible photo safari, seeing amazing animals but he was more interested in hearing about the grace and love of Jesus Christ. He prayed to receive Christ the following day and I baptized him in a small pool attached to our lodge.  You never know how and when God will use your story to impact someone's life for Christ. 

What is your story?  How often have you shared it with others? There is someone who would benefit from your experience. When given the opportunity, ask someone about their story.  Give them a prompting to share and then share yours also.  You will both be blessed. And if you are not a follower of Jesus yet, God wants to include you in His book of life. Let Him write your chapter by giving your life to Him today!

The Cost Of Wearing The Pastoral Mask

photo from the-love-compass.com

Pastor Steve was on the brink of an emotional and physical breakdown. His health was not good and as he lay in a hospital bed after going through some tests, his mind traveled back to that first interview, fresh out of seminary, sitting nervously in a small church. Steve had heard that the church had been on a slow decline for the previous 5 years and had been searching for a pastor for over a year. He recalled how he sat wearing his best suit, displaying his super pastor image for a search committee of 7 elderly members, the remnant that held the church together. 

During the meeting, the committee had laid out their expectations: They wanted a man who could preach great sermons that would bring in lots of new converts. He was to lead the church in creating ministry opportunities, pastor the flock by visiting the sick and burying those who pass from this world. He was expected to bring in money to get the church out of debt. They counted on him to be a great teacher and administrator and of course, be above reproach and the example of what a true Christian should be and do. Steve convinced the church he was their man in that meeting and the church wanted to believe that this young man was God's choice and therefore would meet all of their expectations. 

For the past 7 years Steve had been wearing that same image. Looking back, he now wished he would never have put on the super pastor mask. He was worn out trying to live up to all of those expectations and felt foolish that he really believed he could do all of those things well.  He was ashamed and felt guilty of living a lie for the past 7 years as their pastor.  He felt like a failure in so many areas.

Steve was a good preacher and worked hard to please his members and to grow the church but it left him little time to handle the rest of his responsibilities.  Pastoring an elderly congregation, there always seemed to be a need to visit someone in the hospital or prepare for a funeral. He was a terrible administrator, he hated details but the church didn't have the budget to hire someone to handle the financial and business aspects of the church. 

Steve's family and marriage suffered because he just didn't have the time to give what they needed. He was working 6 days and 5 nights a week and there always seemed to be an emergency or meeting on his supposedly free nights. His spiritual life was running on fumes also. He knew things needed to change but what could he do? Admit that he was a failure, that he was a poser all this time as a pastor?

  

Coaching pastors, I find that Steve is not unique, unfortunately his situation is more of the norm. *This is the time most pastors begin to look for a way out, either leaving the pastorate all together or finding another church where they often begin the cycle all over again.  Steve was different. He broke down on a Sunday evening service and shared about his health and that he needed a break. He came clean about his feelings and guess what?  The congregation stepped up and agreed to take stuff off of his plate.  They seemed to understand and encouraged him to take a sabbatical in order to get healthy before returning.   

  

The problem is not all the fault of pastors. The American evangelical church has created the notion of super pastor that comes with unrealistic expectations and job descriptions. The truth is that most believers expect their pastor to have all five ministry giftings of the Holy Spirit; apostle, prophet, evangelist, shepherd, and teacher. But very rarely does any one person have three of the five much less all of them.   Most pastors excel in one and they try to manage the rest as best as they can. But before long you'll begin to hear the chatter among members, "Our pastor is a great evangelist but he is such a lousy pastor." Or, "our pastor is such a great shepherd but I wish he could preach!"

So how do we address the problem? What could Steve have one differently from the start?  Here are seven ways that may help a pastor avoid Steve's problem.  I'd love to hear any other suggestions also.  

1. Squelch the perception that the pastor is a super Christian. Two issues here are pride and expectations.  If a pastor never puts on the super pastor mask, he won't have to live up to it. There may be pressure to impress a church to get hired, but if you have to be "Jesus" to get the job, you don't want that job.  Be yourself from the start by being authentic and showing vulnerability. Talk about your strengths and your weaknesses, your struggles and failures. Remind the members over and over that you are not a "super Christian" but a human who sins and fails from time to time. I can only grow and succeed by the power, mercy and grace of Jesus. Stay grounded and resist the urge to be put on a pedestal.  
2. Take the ministry seriously but don't take yourself too seriously.  Joke about yourself and the boneheaded mistakes you make. Help others identify with you.  
3. Lead by casting a vision of unity and teamwork. Constantly remind the members that the church (members) should engage the world as a team.  The pastor usually plays the role of quarterback but unless everyone functions in unity doing their part, the church's goals and expectations will not be met.  
4. Set firm boundaries with your time for your own devotion, your family and free time. Communicate up front with your leadership the importance of those boundaries. Call on your leadership to hold you accountable to keeping those boundaries. Stand firm!
5. Work together with your leadership team to define your church's specific values.  Post those in a lot of places, preach about them, recognize and reward those who live out your values.     
6. Delegate, delegate and then delegate some more.  Give as much ministry away so that you as pastor can focus on leading, casting vision, and using whatever ministry gift that God has given you.
7. Don't isolate yourself.  Find a group of pastors from other churches that you can meet regularly with to play, pray and discuss your common problems. Make friends outside of your church that will allow you to get away from the business of your church.

*Average tenure for pastors at any one church is 5-7 years. http://www.gbjournal.org/8-82/
Here are other blog posts concerning this issue:

http://thomrainer.com/2014/06/dangerous-third-year-pastoral-tenure/

http://the-love-compass.com/2013/11/09/cultivating-authenticity-letting-go-of-what-people-think/

Reaching The Millennial And Why This Millennial Stayed In The Church

Millenials gather for a game at Topgolf 

I had a great conversation recently with several young pastors who have started churches that are reaching Millenials. These church planters were either of the Millenial generation or just a bit older. I wanted to hear how they were reaching the Millenials today and what it is that motivates the Millennial to seek after God.

The pastors all agreed that the Millennial craves community. A large portion of twenty-something adults have not had great, authentic family experiences so they want to experience family and community. These pastors agreed that for the church to reach Millennials, it must provide community for them or they will not stick. The problem voiced by one pastor is that often when the church tries to create community it comes across as fake or inauthentic. For Millenials, community happens naturally.

A good example of a business that is thriving because it is reaching Millenials is Top Golf. They have taken the traditional game of golf and put it into a structure that is more conducive to groups that create community much like bowling. Where golf has been more of an individual sport, now through Top Golf it becomes a group experience which appeals to the Millennial.

The young church planters went on to say that churches must also allow Millennials to question why we believe and why we act the way we do. Millennials need to be able to ask questions without fear or rejections. Their world view is not a biblical world view like ours. They have been taught a secular world view so we must be patient and listen to them and understand their perspective. They tend to be more liberal so if the church focuses a lot on politics and trying to persuade members to be more conservative, instead of focusing on the Gospel, the Millennials will drift away.

They can be biblically illiterate also. We can't assume they even know the basics of Christianity. One pastor commented about how he had to explain where Christmas originated to a young girl. She did not even know that it was a holiday celebrating Jesus' birth.

Millennials also want their faith to be practical and integrated into their everyday life.  That is why the Missional model appeals to them. They will accept a challenge and respond well to activism. They won't stay long at your church unless they are challenged to put their faith into action. Coming to worship to be entertained will not sustain them. 

This is a quote from an excellent blog post by Ryan Cole on why he stayed in the church,  Statistics show that Millennials are are not interested in work and life balance; they are interested in work and life INTEGRATION. The same is true about their faith. They don’t just wanna show up on Sunday if they have not integrated their LIFE >> WORK >> and FAITH together as one!

So a church must do these three things to reach the Millennial, 

• Provide authentic community
• Give a solid explanation of the Good News and how and why it changes the way we live our lives 
• Focus on and involve them in the mission of God

I suggest this should be the goal for every person attending your church, not just Millenials. But it is especially essential to reach the twenty-something's. 

Read Why This Millennial stayed in the church.

Church We Have A Problem According To Pew Study

The latest Pew Research Survey on religion in America does not paint a rosy picture for the Christian church, reporting a decline of "Christians" of almost 8% from 2007.  The percentage of adults (ages 18 and older) who describe themselves as Christians has dropped by nearly eight percentage points in just seven years, from 78.4% in an equally massive Pew Research survey in 2007 to 70.6% in 2014. Over the same period, the percentage of Americans who are religiously unaffiliated – describing themselves as atheist, agnostic or “nothing in particular” – has jumped more than six points, from 16.1% to 22.8%. And the share of Americans who identify with non-Christian faiths also has inched up, rising 1.2 percentage points, from 4.7% in 2007 to 5.9% in 2014. 

Mainline protestant denominations took the brunt of the decline while evangelical churches actually increased in number, as much a 5 million.  Yet the future does not look promising for either because there is a failure to reproduce generationally both in mainline and evangelical churches. The millennial generation, especially many of the young millennials, are not continuing the faith of their parents. More than 85% of American adults were raised Christian, but nearly a quarter of those who were raised Christian no longer identify with Christianity. 

In the evangelical church, there has always been a high value of making new disciples, to evangelize the lost, hence the term evangelical church.  In my coaching of pastors, much of our energy is spent on developing strategies to reach those who do not believe. Perhaps we should also examine how we are raising up our children to love God and pursue truth.  Somewhere along the line we are losing that battle and if those closest to us fail to carry on with our faith, then how can we expect to convince those outside our family to believe in Christ? How do we leave a legacy of faith without pushing it upon our children or turning them away from the church? How do we best disciple them? They are after all, the future of the church.

I've written about the issue in a recent blog; The Greatest Gift You Can Give Your Child and also the root of the problem; Survey Indicates Religious Faith Not A High Value For Many Christians.

I'd love to hear your thoughts, suggestions and answers.

A Better Way To Help A Person Change

Have you ever faced the pressure of helping someone make a change in their behavior or making sure an employee improves their production at work? And you feel the panic of having little or no confidence that you can actually help. A coaching approach is the simple and effective way to help others to change.
I learned while training to be a life coach that asking questions is the key to helping the one you are coaching to solve a problem, improve performance or get from point A to point B. In a coaching session, the coach simply asks questions and is not to offer his or her advice unless the one being coached gives permission. The reason is that using questions has been found to be the best method to accomplishing change in an individual. This method of discipleship is effective in most every area of leadership, from raising children to managing a staff.  Here is a great video from the Behavioral Science Guys that explains why questions are more effective than lecturing in leading to change.

Let's say you have an employee who is under performing.  Why not use the coaching method to get change and improve his performance.

• Ask questions to clarify the problem and assess current reality.
• Ask questions to create a goal and plan of action.
• Ask questions to determine the obstacles to achieving the goal.
• Ask questions for accountability and next steps.

So instead of racking your brain to come up with a solution for them, help them come up with their own solution by asking questions. Here are some coaching questions to ask:

   * Exactly what are we trying to accomplish?
   * What can you control?
   * What is out of your control?
   * What does the data reveal?
   * What are the potential causes of this situation?
   * What have others done successfully in the past?
   * In a perfect world, what would the ideal look like?
   * In a year from now, where would you like to be?
   * If you are unsuccessful, what is the worst that could happen?
   * If you could do just one thing, what would you do?
   * How will you measure your progress?
   * If we hired outside consultants to help us, what do we think they would do for us?
   * If we were trying to accomplish the opposite, what would we do?
   * Who can help you think about this?
   * What happens if you do nothing?
   * What are all of your options?
   * What are the roadblocks to success?
   * What is the first thing you need to do?
   * When do we need to make a decision/act?
   * If failure were not an option, what would we do?
   * If money were no object, what would we do?
   * What will you have achieved by our next meeting?
   * How would I depict this situation in a picture?

Check out Mark Miller's post on My Favorite Leadership Question

Want information on becoming a certified coach?  Check out Coaching For Clergy.

Coach Pop's Legacy And How It Relates To The Church Today

Tony Parker, Gregg Popovich (Soobum Im-USA TODAY Sports)

There has been a lot of fanfare around Greg Popovich's 1,000 wins as coach of the San Antonio Spurs, as there should be. Certainly this has been an incredible achievement.  Only a handful of coaches have accomplished this and only one other, Jerry Sloan, has won over 1,000 games with just one team.  

 

But Pop's legacy will go beyond his number of wins or the number of NBA championships as a coach and won't be finished when he decides to retire. His most significant achievement will be his impact on the league and that will be felt for many years to come because of the incredible amount of his disciples that will carry on his legacy for years to come. Pop certainly would not take credit for the abundance of former Spurs players, coaches and employees scattered around the NBA, but the number is staggering. 

In the high-profile coaching positions alone you'll find former Spurs like Alvin Gentry, Avery Johnson, Vinny Del Negro, Jacque Vaughn, Mike Brown, P.J. Carlesimo, Monte Williams and Brett Brown.  I haven't even mentioned the coaches of the two teams with this year's best records in the NBA, Steve Kerr of the Golden State Warriors, a Spur guard on the 2003 championship team, and Atlanta Hawks coach Mike Budenholzer who spent 19 years in the Spurs organization.  And it doesn't end with the coaching fraternity. There are NBA general managers, Danny Ferry, Dell Demps and Sam Presti who are disciples of Pop.

What is amazing is that coach Pop seems to relish the opportunities for his disciples to move on to other teams. Losing Brett Brown and Mike Budenholzer at the same time, two long-time assistants must have been incredibly difficult.  But I never heard one negative comment from Coach Pop, just proud accolades for both of them.  Pop just celebrates their new head coaching roles and reloads with a new batch of eager young coaches. 

Steve Kerr on Pop's legacy said, "His impact on coaching is dramatic. Pop has pretty much taken over the league.  All of his protégés are out there, spread all across the league, GMs and coaches. It's amazing to see guys are having a lot of success so the impact goes well beyond the game itself."

I couldn't tell you whether Coach Pop has always mentored coaches with the intent to send them out or whether it is just the by-product of the Spurs program that most every team wants to replicate. But you do know that Pop is very willing to let go of his coaches and he puts the welfare of his players, coaches and employees ahead of his own interests. This is very uncommon in the competitive professional sports world.  Yet, the team still stays on or near the top every year.    

What would it be like if pastors across the nation had the same attitude about their members and staff as Coach Pop?  Imagine, the impact around the world, if instead of being afraid of losing staff, volunteers, or members, pastors intentionally trained and discipled young men and women and actually encouraged them to leave their congregation and spread the Gospel, as missionaries or plant churches.  What if the goal was to send instead of trying to hold on to everyone?  

I spent 20 years on staff at a large church in Austin, many of those years ministering to several hundred single adults.  Now returning to Austin, I've had the privilege of reconnecting with some of those who still live in Austin.  Very few are attending my old church anymore. I've gotten invitations to attend churches all over Austin where they are now attending. This is not a slam against my old church.  It is just the way it is in most all churches.  

Few people stay for a lifetime at any one church. The average American family moves every five to six years, so unless they leave earlier for some other reason, 5 years is about as long as you'll have most members! To think you will be able to hold on to your members for much longer is fooling yourself.  This is one of the top stressors for pastors (I've counseled many pastors about their pain and frustration over a family or families that has chosen to leave their church) and many spend a lot of their ministry trying to find ways to 'close the back door' and maintain as many of their members for as long as possible. Members will leave for all sorts of reasons and if you take it personally, it can suck your passion for the church right out of you and possibly kill your ministry totally.

Yet every experienced church planter I know will tell a new church planter that the initial team that helps start your church will not be with you long term. They are coached to view your initial core team as the scaffolding to help build a foundation for your church but don't expect them to be there long term. 

So instead of getting all worked up about a family that leaves your church, why not do what Greg Popovich does with the Spurs, train them and send them out.  Heck, it's actually what the Bible tells the leaders of the church to do, help every member to see their potential as a missionary and equip the Saints for ministry.  You've got most people for five years, so why not implement some sort of 5 year discipleship plan that will help grow your members into mature believers who are equipped to serve as ministers and missionaries wherever they may end up. Then celebrate those who move on to take the Gospel and your church DNA to other churches, countries or ministries. 

It may seem counter-intuitive to growing a church, but it is God's formula! Focus on His Kingdom and you'll grow people, the church and the Kingdom!  We made the switch at Grace Point when several great families left our church for various reasons during a critical season. It was painful.  Yet working through the difficult period, we realized that San Antonio, being a military city, was a temporary home for many of our families. So instead of being discouraged about families who leave, we looked forward to seeing where and how they used what they learned from their time at Grace Point.  We set a God-sized goal to help plant 100 churches in 10 years. We discipled to equip and empower our members to go. After we made the switch from holding onto to sending, we began to grow again, doubling in size over the next ten years, sending people all over the world and planting more than 100 churches.

Pastors, you can relieve a lot of your stress, disappointment and frustration by replacing your old mindset of worrying about "closing the back door" with a big Kingdom mindset of discipling and sending. After all, God is a sending God, sending his very Son to earth so that you and I could be redeemed.  So why should we think differently?