It's dangerous business going out your front door nowadays: Kingdom living in today's crazy world!

I love the scene in the Fellowship of The Ring when Sam hesitates to go with Frodo saying "if I take one more step, it will be the farthest I've even been from home."  Frodo encourages Sam to go saying, "remember what Bilbo always said, 'it's dangerous business going out your front door. You step onto the road and if you don't take your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to'."

Christians can be much like Sam when trying to make a decision whether to go on a mission trip, move overseas to serve God in a foreign land, or starting a ministry in a new place. And in today's world where we hear about almost every tragic event, the fear of travel can be a huge barrier to following God's calling. We in America have an aversion to taking risks. It hasn't always been that way. Our founding fathers risked much to make America the country it is. But just mention to someone you are going to Africa or to Europe to serve on mission and see the bewildering looks on their faces. "Are you serious? Why would you take a risk like that?"

I recently had a conversation with a friend who shared that she had been struggling with a decision that she believes is a calling from God to serve him in a specific way. Her idea for ministry would provide hospice patients a unique peaceful and spiritual rest during their last days on earth. The problem she explained was that her dream would require her to quit her well-paying job and take a big risk by starting a non-profit ministry. Many of her friends and family thought she was being foolish to do so.  Her dream required her to risk, sacrifice material things and security. She asked herself, am I being foolish or am I being faithful to God's call? 

Sometimes when I try to determine God's direction for me, taking a risk to serve others can often seem as being irrational, unsafe or imprudent. So many Christians pass up opportunities because they fear losing material things, security and often friends. Yet, when we look at just about any faithful person in the Bible, we see how they risked much and gave up much to follow God's calling. Think about what Abraham, Noah, and Moses were asked to do. From the outside what God was calling them to do seemed like folly. For them and the disciples in the New Testament, Kingdom living meant leaving the security of the present and stepping in with both feet not sure of where they would be swept off to, but knowing that God was with them.  

Our consumer culture demands the opposite of Kingdom living. It drives us to mostly play it safe, and when we are encouraged to risk, it is usually for the sake of possessions, power or profit. We are told to live up to our potential but as my pastor proclaimed one Sunday, "Kingdom living is not living up to our potential, it is pursuing our calling!" That calling often requires us to put aside comfort, safety, material security and the life we currently live, even the world's idea of sanity for something much more grand, much more fulfilling. 

Yet, when we are faced with a choice to join in God's adventure, we are much like Bilbo Baggins. We go to church and live our daily life. We don't like unexpected visitors and unanticipated surprises that break our routine. But as it happens so often, as it did to Bilbo Baggins, opportunity knocks at our door, out of the blue or as we are are minding our own business, God sends an opportunity our way to join Him in an adventure.  And we get to choose. 

Take it from someone that has been all over the world. When you say "yes" to God and enter His adventure, you'll go places that will take your breath away and serve along side of the most unusual cast of characters. I've experienced this all over the world, working alongside Muslim men to build a playground at a school in Morocco to worshiping God with inmates inside a prison in South Africa. 

So if you are contemplating going oversees on a mission trip, don't listen to the world, friends and acquaintances who will try to talk you out of going. You'll hear all kinds of reasons for not going. It's unsafe. It's too much money which could better be spent helping people here.  You are being irresponsible to your family.  Some of the arguments may sound logical. But often your friends won't understand because they view life from a worldly perspective, not from a Kingdom mindset. Just say "yes" to God.  I promise you won't be the same when you return!

The Cost Of Wearing The Pastoral Mask

photo from the-love-compass.com

Pastor Steve was on the brink of an emotional and physical breakdown. His health was not good and as he lay in a hospital bed after going through some tests, his mind traveled back to that first interview, fresh out of seminary, sitting nervously in a small church. Steve had heard that the church had been on a slow decline for the previous 5 years and had been searching for a pastor for over a year. He recalled how he sat wearing his best suit, displaying his super pastor image for a search committee of 7 elderly members, the remnant that held the church together. 

During the meeting, the committee had laid out their expectations: They wanted a man who could preach great sermons that would bring in lots of new converts. He was to lead the church in creating ministry opportunities, pastor the flock by visiting the sick and burying those who pass from this world. He was expected to bring in money to get the church out of debt. They counted on him to be a great teacher and administrator and of course, be above reproach and the example of what a true Christian should be and do. Steve convinced the church he was their man in that meeting and the church wanted to believe that this young man was God's choice and therefore would meet all of their expectations. 

For the past 7 years Steve had been wearing that same image. Looking back, he now wished he would never have put on the super pastor mask. He was worn out trying to live up to all of those expectations and felt foolish that he really believed he could do all of those things well.  He was ashamed and felt guilty of living a lie for the past 7 years as their pastor.  He felt like a failure in so many areas.

Steve was a good preacher and worked hard to please his members and to grow the church but it left him little time to handle the rest of his responsibilities.  Pastoring an elderly congregation, there always seemed to be a need to visit someone in the hospital or prepare for a funeral. He was a terrible administrator, he hated details but the church didn't have the budget to hire someone to handle the financial and business aspects of the church. 

Steve's family and marriage suffered because he just didn't have the time to give what they needed. He was working 6 days and 5 nights a week and there always seemed to be an emergency or meeting on his supposedly free nights. His spiritual life was running on fumes also. He knew things needed to change but what could he do? Admit that he was a failure, that he was a poser all this time as a pastor?

  

Coaching pastors, I find that Steve is not unique, unfortunately his situation is more of the norm. *This is the time most pastors begin to look for a way out, either leaving the pastorate all together or finding another church where they often begin the cycle all over again.  Steve was different. He broke down on a Sunday evening service and shared about his health and that he needed a break. He came clean about his feelings and guess what?  The congregation stepped up and agreed to take stuff off of his plate.  They seemed to understand and encouraged him to take a sabbatical in order to get healthy before returning.   

  

The problem is not all the fault of pastors. The American evangelical church has created the notion of super pastor that comes with unrealistic expectations and job descriptions. The truth is that most believers expect their pastor to have all five ministry giftings of the Holy Spirit; apostle, prophet, evangelist, shepherd, and teacher. But very rarely does any one person have three of the five much less all of them.   Most pastors excel in one and they try to manage the rest as best as they can. But before long you'll begin to hear the chatter among members, "Our pastor is a great evangelist but he is such a lousy pastor." Or, "our pastor is such a great shepherd but I wish he could preach!"

So how do we address the problem? What could Steve have one differently from the start?  Here are seven ways that may help a pastor avoid Steve's problem.  I'd love to hear any other suggestions also.  

1. Squelch the perception that the pastor is a super Christian. Two issues here are pride and expectations.  If a pastor never puts on the super pastor mask, he won't have to live up to it. There may be pressure to impress a church to get hired, but if you have to be "Jesus" to get the job, you don't want that job.  Be yourself from the start by being authentic and showing vulnerability. Talk about your strengths and your weaknesses, your struggles and failures. Remind the members over and over that you are not a "super Christian" but a human who sins and fails from time to time. I can only grow and succeed by the power, mercy and grace of Jesus. Stay grounded and resist the urge to be put on a pedestal.  
2. Take the ministry seriously but don't take yourself too seriously.  Joke about yourself and the boneheaded mistakes you make. Help others identify with you.  
3. Lead by casting a vision of unity and teamwork. Constantly remind the members that the church (members) should engage the world as a team.  The pastor usually plays the role of quarterback but unless everyone functions in unity doing their part, the church's goals and expectations will not be met.  
4. Set firm boundaries with your time for your own devotion, your family and free time. Communicate up front with your leadership the importance of those boundaries. Call on your leadership to hold you accountable to keeping those boundaries. Stand firm!
5. Work together with your leadership team to define your church's specific values.  Post those in a lot of places, preach about them, recognize and reward those who live out your values.     
6. Delegate, delegate and then delegate some more.  Give as much ministry away so that you as pastor can focus on leading, casting vision, and using whatever ministry gift that God has given you.
7. Don't isolate yourself.  Find a group of pastors from other churches that you can meet regularly with to play, pray and discuss your common problems. Make friends outside of your church that will allow you to get away from the business of your church.

*Average tenure for pastors at any one church is 5-7 years. http://www.gbjournal.org/8-82/
Here are other blog posts concerning this issue:

http://thomrainer.com/2014/06/dangerous-third-year-pastoral-tenure/

http://the-love-compass.com/2013/11/09/cultivating-authenticity-letting-go-of-what-people-think/

Doing it Jesus' way the counterculture path

I always find it interesting to hear celebrities speak out in public about their faith in Jesus Christ. Many avoid getting too deep into their lifestyle. Russell Wilson is one athlete who does not shy away from his personal life and how he puts his faith into practice. The Seattle Seahawks quarterback shares a lot about his faith in this interview at a church in San Diego and how he lives it out, including his his relationship with his girlfriend.  
Wilson declares that he is taking the lead in their relationship and doing it "Jesus' way." I find it ironic how counterculture his stand is today when just a few years ago we were promoting the "just say no" campaign.  Go here to watch the whole interview. His discussion about his relationship with his girlfriend is about the 25 minute mark in the interview. 

Christians need to get used to the idea that our lifestyle as followers of Christ will not be the popular way.  We will have many decisions to make along the way, choosing between the righteous way or the popular choice. When we make the choice to live the "Jesus way", the Bible says we are living by faith, exercising our faith and trust in that way.  Hebrews gives us the examples of those who lived by faith, making the decisions to follow God and not the world.  

Accepting ourselves for who God created us to be

It's not a big deal when an aging movie star attempts to stay young with cosmetic enhancements to their face and body. But this was different. The recent photos of Renee Zellweger’s new look have social media all abuzz, and had many of her fans scratching their heads.  Many were disturbed because Zellweger had so radically changed the look of her face. It's not that her new look was that bad.  Most would agree that her new look was beautiful.  What made Renee's change hard to accept is that the unique look that she had surgically altered is what we loved about her! Her natural appearance, her narrow eyes and high cheek bones, along with her personality gave her that lovable quality that endeared her to us. She was unique and beautiful, not by the typical standards of today’s models, but because of her unique facial features.

  

I don't want to be judgmental. I think most all of us do some enhancing along the way, even if it’s only with makeup or hair coloring. Few of us live in the world of those who can afford to get a whole new face. What I find so fascinating and troubling is to see a person who felt the need to change a unique, beautiful and loveable face into such a generic appearance.

I have no clue what motivated her to change but it may be a good insight into the human psyche and the culture that influences our choices. Isn't it ironic that the thing that drew people to Renee, the features that gave her that unique face that actually made her a star, are the features she disliked most about herself.  When we look at a picture of ourselves, we are often drawn to the one or two characteristics that we dislike.  It’s human nature.  And maybe for Renee Zellweger, her eyes and cheeks were what she disliked about herself.

Wouldn't it be great if we all focused more on enhancing our inner being, our character and integrity, than our physical appearance?  It is a lot less expensive but requires much more time and work.  

Here are some of the questions and points you could use for discussion with teenagers. 

• How does the world and today's culture push us to conform? 
• What is it that makes us want to be so much like everyone else?  
• How much pressure do you feel from your peers to change and conform to the fashionable standards of our society?
• Why have we lost our ability to see the beauty in the unique? 
• Why do we make fun of people who have unique physical features?
• Is it wrong to want to change or enhance our physical appearance?
• As believers in Jesus Christ, can we actually rejoice in how God made us and accept our uniqueness?
• In this crazy upside-down world, how can we learn to have a healthy respect for our own unique bodies and to also respect others who are different?
• What does the Bible say about outward appearances vs. the inner man or woman?  
• What are your unique features and characteristics that God has  given you?